pies and pigs

Back again, with a Boom

2009-10-03T16:14:00.003+08:00

Hello again.

Yes it has been a real long time since I last blogged. Perhaps almost more than a month ago, and even then it was just two post dedicated to the two special people in my life, my best friend Darshana and my dearest friend, Late Pravin (Rest in peace sweets).

I do apologize for not posting anything earlier. Been busy working, not exactly climbing the corporate ladder but more of gathering and gaining experience and knowledge. Nope, not done with Masters yet though.

Anyway I do have a new photoblog, which Im sharing with Darshana. Here is the link:-

http://www.flashyaffair.blogspot.com

Do check it out, and we would really appreciate your comments.

p.s: Here is a preview of what you will see in our photoblog

Will update soon.
xx
-me

She's 24 yo :)

2009-08-26T23:57:00.003+08:00

She maybe small in size,
but she has one of the biggest heart anyone can have.
When I first saw her, I thought she was this stuck up girl,
who wouldn't even smile
And I have no idea how, but we randomly started talking,
if I am not mistaken, about hot chocolates (yes food :)) and some other things and we clicked. We then decided to meet and it turned out that we had more in common than anything.. We shared the same taste in food, movies, interest and freakishly, in life circumstances and events. Who would expect that we both came out of relationships at almost the same time, to fall for an unexpected person, having that not working out, and pleading temporary insanity, all in the same time.. Really freaky parallel universe kinda thing..

And we grew, from sharing our pain, and knowledge and happy happy times, we grew, mentally and emotionally stronger.

She is all one can ask for in a friend, in a sister, and we just click on all levels. I truly admire her honesty, zeal for life, the way she bounces back after troubles and she never has anything bad to say about anyone no matter what they did to her.

Babe, I truly honor having you in my life. Perhaps it only makes sense it is stated we are in a relationship because I do not think many share the bond we have. You inspire me, and you are always there to cheer and to listen and to share my pain and joy. I am glad we met that fateful day :)) Thanks sweets and Happy 24th Birthday.. May the Lord's grace always be with you, may He shower His love and blessings, and may He always keep you close to Him..

xoxoxooxoxoxoxo

me :)

Dance with the angels Pravin, for you belong with them

2009-08-10T23:14:00.004+08:00

I can't believe it has already been more than a day,
it feels just like seconds ago I heard the news
You were taken away too soon,
And you left us here
to cry and lament over your loss.

I will never understand why you did it,
I will never know what you were thinking,
I will never know what is that present you bought for me,
when we talked just mere days ago.

My heart breaks everytime I think of you,
I shed a tear everytime I see a picture of you,
It all seems like a nightmare that I cant shrug off,
It seems like you are never coming back.

Dearest Roachie,

I can't even remember when and why you got that name. Perhaps it was because of the dirty house you were staying in, and your love for cockroaches. But the name stuck on, just as how u used to call me "niu niu", in your funny voice, making me laugh every other time. I can't seem to remember when I first saw you, can't remember how we started talking, but I remembered us being good friends. I remember you calling so often, and always offering to call me since you claimed you were the working one. I remember how we used to talk nonsense and make jokes out of everything. I remember how conversations would be full of laughter and happiness. You were there when I needed someone to talk to. I am sorry roachie if i wasn't there for you :( My bad, I should have listened to you more, saw you more often and talked to you more. But you are not coming back, are you?

I remembered how we randomly met up in Midvalley, and you pretended to be gay. How we ogled and checked out boys, and you played along without any complain. I remember you pink girly phone with the butterfly. I want to call you right about now, but noone is going to answer it right? :( I can go on writing about all that you are, and how ever much I miss you. I can't believe you are gone. My tears are falling as I write this.

Pravin, there will never be a friend better than you, there will never be a man who can accomplish all that you have. You have been more than a friend, you were family to all of us. I truly miss you, and I am devasted by your death.

Rest in peace my dearest Roachie.
May the Lord guide and guard your soul
May the angels hold your hand as you dance in Heaven
You will be alive in our thoughts and in our hearts,
So long as we can breathe, we will miss you.

Playing the Game of Life - Level 3

2009-06-30T12:23:00.000+08:00

There are no EXIT buttons in this game of life.
The only way to exit is to reach your true goal, and mind you if you are still meeting challenges after reaching your goal, it only means you haven’t reached your true goal.

There are a few methods that can help you find your true goal, and the easiest way to have a heart to heart discussion with your heart. It knows the game, it knows the rules and everything that you need to know to survive and reach your goal. Your heart will tell you what it truly desires.

However, the game of life equips you with certain skills and equipments to help to combat the challenges. The weapon that is entrusted to you is your mind. It has the ability to combat your challenges if you use it wisely, but also to defeat and deceive you with false hopes and goals if you are not aware and alert. Values such being honest, loving, peace, non-violence and practicing right conduct are your bearings to ensure you are moving down the right path. By practicing austerities, you can then upgrade your weapon to a higher level. As you move along the game, the challenges get tougher, you get more attached to mundane things in life and you start finding it difficult to focus on your true goal. Other things may seem more important and you may feel you lack the ability and strength to reach the goal. Do not be duped by these two cousins of Time and Space. They are bound by your mind. Break the mind, and they will be unbound too.

When you reach the end of the game, the goal will be waiting just beyond the door. However the door is tiny, and miniscule, and here is where you drop everything you have to travel along the small dark path to reach the goal. Surrendering everything you own, every action and word and only when you own nothing of your own, you reach your true goal. You then become the goal yourself.

Your first and only clue to win this game:-

Follow the master,
Face the devil,
Fight to the end,
Finish the game

Playing the Game of Life - Level 2

2009-06-30T12:21:00.001+08:00

In this game of life, you are but a player. There are many others who are also playing the same game; everyone you see plays the game. However, some are aware they are playing, while some don’t and are merely floating and hence life plays them. Slowly teaching them, and helping them to see their true goal. It is easy to recognize those who are aware they are in the game. They walk purposefully, they stride with confidence, they have somewhat a glint in their eyes that shows they are moving to get what they want and they will not stop till they get it.

The most important rule in the game is to never take your eyes of the goal. It is a rule, your magic weapon, and it is something that you have to keep close to your mind at all times. As you go playing the game, you will learn many things which will either individually or collectively act as clues to help you reach the true goal. It is crucial to remember that every other person or challenge you meet in the game will have some lesson or knowledge that will help you to reach the goal. Some will teach you through word of mouth and some you learn by watching the mistakes of others.

As you move on through the game, you will realise there are other players’ who will also be playing parallel to you and often your paths will cross. This is where you need to practice the lessons you have picked up along the game. Some will test your courage, and often most will just distract you, especially those players who haven’t realised their true goal. Be careful of them. In playing the game, you need to remember that your baggage needs to be light. Travel as light as possible as you wouldn’t be using anything that you have accumulated over the years. As I have mentioned, be very alert of those whom you meet along the game as they may serve as a distraction from your true goal. There is no harm in getting distracted, but it slows you down, and if you are too attached to these distractions, you start losing track and sight of your true goal. Once this happens, be assured that though the goal is there, it takes a long time to get back on the right track and the path may seem more difficult.

These distractions can come in many shapes or forms, so always be careful of anything that seems to pry you away from your true goal. Happy or sad events, both may serve as a distraction. You may be rewarded as you move along the game based on your brownie points. You gain this points when you perform actions required of you, but again, do not be distracted with the rewards. Always remember to be detached as you play the game, or else the game may just play you. But this doesn’t mean you are not to play your role as you play the game. The game is a multi-player, multi-role strategy based game. As you move on the path, meeting challenges and people, you are to play your role, and with that try to reach the goal. The game of life may seem difficult and scary, and hence many decide to escape from the game by not consciously acting on the challenges and some even take their life.

Playing the Game of Life - Level 1

2009-06-30T12:12:00.001+08:00

The game of life

Welcome to the game of life, the most ancient, sacred and well played game. It is game that begun before you were born, and will continue long after you leave this mortal body. The game, like all games, has rules, and regulations. The game of life begins, when you realise your goal, your True goal that your heart’s desire. If you haven’t realized the goal, do not worry, as the game will help you realise this, as long as you keep an open mind and gain the ability to look beyond the senses.

The game truly begins, and doesn’t end in this timeline. It is beyond space and time, but not to worry; it does have some cheat-codes and clues, to ease your path. There are many other small, minute goals that you may focus on in this game for the time-being but however do not confuse that with the true goal. The true goal of the game, or as we say the Final check-point will only be revealed as you move on with the game. Once you have realised the true goal, the game may seem to look easy but it in fact will be harder, as you will face more challenges and increase your level of endurance, and strength.

The key to win this game is to always have your eyes on the goal. There will be many challenges, many distractions and devils and monsters that will try to harm and confuse you. Further explanation on this will be provided to help you combat these beings and to help you devise a plan to achieve your goal.

Close your eyes, and shut your senses. Listen to the voice of your heart and it will tell you what your goal is.

Once you know your true goal, the game truly begins.

Differences Bind, Norms Break

2009-06-26T14:08:00.006+08:00

Why is it that we do what we do? What I am referring to is the fact that we segregate people according to our likes and dislikes. Why do we categorize people into "us" and "them". Why is it always that "us", meaning "We" are the better ones, we are smarter, we are good and we give all these labels to ourselves, just because we are different from "them".

Oh it doesn't seem to matter, if "they" are smarter, and records are there to prove it, but we shun them and say, "oh he did well in his studies because he cheated, or things like some other higher authority would have pulled some strings". Why is it that we can't accept our defeat, why are we such sore losers that we blame everyone on earth for failures except to look within, to gain the insight and see that maybe, just maybe the problem lies here, within us.

Why do we judge, especially when someone is different from us? We ridicule them, we call them names, just because they do not follow the norms of the society. The norms that "we" created for everyone to follow. When someone defies, when he voices out things that we are afraid to say, what do we do? We laugh at him, we again ridicule and shun him. Just because, he is now not like us anymore. He is different, and hence he is not normal.

Norms, normal, abnormal, how can we ever separate people into categories when all of us are somewhat abnormal. We are all different aren't we, and every community and society is different. We all have our quirks and differences, but it saddens me to say that we rather disregard our differences and our uniqueness, just to fit the bill, to fit what the community and society call norm, basically to be just like "them". Year after year, decades after decades, so many things change, yet we hold on the notion that when someone is different, if he behaves differently, if he says something we wouldn't voice-out, if he likes things that we deem weird, we call him abnormal.

Whatever happened to individual rights, and freedom of being who you really are. If we really needed to conform to what the society expects of us, don't you think we would all be created exactly the same? Why did He take extra time to make each one of us different? And yet, in our ignorance, we subject ourselves to this mental torture, we keep our ideas on hold, afraid what would others think of us, we hide our true identity afraid people will shun and ridicule us, and slowly, we begin to lose our true self, our uniqueness, our individuality, just because we got to be the sheep, and just like what my friend Vijay often says, we form the herd mentality, we wait for orders, we are afraid to move beyond our comfort zone, and yet we ridicule those who do.

With this note, let us reflect on M.J. Just how many of us ridiculed him, just because he was different, because he wanted to look different? How many of us believed the stories of him being a pedophile and we developed a distaste for him, though his music speaks beyond nations and colour? It was so easy to disregard a person, to believe the worst in them and pretend, that we are higher, mightier, better. Maybe with this, perhaps it is time for us to stop and change. Lets stop laughing at someone just because he/she is fashion-challenged, lets not laugh at the slow kid in class, lets not bully those who can't conform, lets not make fun of those we deem crazy and mental, but rather let us be who we are, and let others be who they want to be. Lets love and accept, for only through that we shine, and we grow, collectively beautiful, inside and out.

Rest in Peace M.J.

Time to discover your Personal Legend

2009-06-16T14:49:00.002+08:00

I have been reading a lot, and at times it seems that no matter how ever much you read, there are somethings that are beyond the understanding of the limited capacity of human intellect. So what do you do then? Ignore the questions that keep pounding and pouncing on you when you try your level best to ignore them? Or do you continue reading, hoping that your limited mind, expands and you learn to see things beyond this physical world, that is actually superimposed on the infinite world. Well that is what Swami Rama said in "Living with the Himalayan Master".

Reading that book at night and the alchemist by Paolo Coelho in the day time, had me thinking. Our true reason of being here. Both authors are renowned writers, one a renunciate and the other a novellist who delights in the smallest magical wonder of this finite world. Paolo talks about Personal Legend, and I started wondering what is my personal legend. Personal legend according to paolo is something that you truly desire to accomplish here on earth and everyone has that, but it so happens that life often throws you carelessly like a wave on rocks, and you end up throwing your personal legend away. He also says that as children you would know what is your personal legend but you slowly start forgetting it or assuming that you do not reserve to go after it since so many people meet failure when they try.

So what is my personal legend? I am not entirely sure. I remembered when I was 8, I started wondering why are we here? And now that I am 24, I know what I want to gain from being here, I know what is the purpose of being here, but I still do not know why we are even here in the 1st place. The reason for creation. And maybe, just maybe my personal legend would be to find out the answer to this. It may take my whole entire life, but pursuits of such, to find your personal legend is indeed timeless, and as Paolo Coelho continues to say in the story, the King adviced the boy to continue finding his Personal legend and to continue the journey until he finds what he wants to find. In the process he is to remember that Everything is one and the same, and also that the boy should listen and follow the Omens.

It is not as absurd as it may sound. All of us do indeed have that one thing, one reason for living, that maybe hidden deep inside our mind and consciousness. We may think it is not practical to do what our hearts desire, things may not go well and such. And so we ignore this personal need, be it to travel to the furthest corner of the world, to climb the highest mountain, to find your heart's true love or anything at all. We continue living, pretending that we did ourselves a big favour by not going for our dreams, that we saved ourselves from pain and failure that we might face if we had gone on reaching our dreams.

So with regards to my Personal Legend, I don't even know what exactly it is. Is it answering these questions that keep bubbling inside of me or is it some other things that I have successfully hidden in the depth of being? All I know is I would like to travel, to all corners of the worls, learn the language of the unspoken, learn from the elements and just Be :)Perhaps That is my Personal Legend.

It left, perhaps on a jetplane and I don't know when it would be returning

2009-06-11T23:04:00.004+08:00

The room was dark. It was humid and she felt as if it was closing in on her. Bumps and weird formation had started appearing on the walls, making it seem as if it was swollen, with perhaps some unidentified disease. She was freaking out. There was nothing here for her, not right now, not with the condition of her home like this. She loved it, more than anything, and there was only one occasion where she had left home before. And even that was a long time ago, she barely remembered the details.

And so she packed, and she left. It had been more than 24 hours, and no one knew where she had gone to. There's faint hope she might be coming back.

Ask me, I should know but I don't. She is gone. And I pray she returns, soon. I cant work without her.

Oh damn..

My voice took a drive to the oblivion and hasn't returned. I am doomed.. :(

Religion: A boon or a bane?

2009-06-03T15:36:00.005+08:00

3rd June 2009

I sat popping my antibiotics and meds and I realised how much I missed Parthi. I was there last year December, and though 6 months isn't that long, it feels decades ago. Last years' trip truly shook me up, gave me a new perspective on life, on spirituality on everything.

I am a point where I am questioning everything, perhaps not so much now, as it was before. I wondered on the reality of our being, on us, on religion and everything. An uncle we met there in Parthi told us that he believes that religion is just a stepping stone to God. You should be born in a religion but you should never die in the same religion. At that point of time, I didn't understand what he meant. I thought he just didn't grasp the whole meaning of religion, and plus if it wasn't that important, why do we have all these temples and even lessons on our religion in Balvikas.

But in the last 6 months, I grew. I went from doubting swami (yes I did, I won't deny this), to understand that we and Him are one, but as it goes, understanding a fact is not the same as realizing it. I realised that religion is indeed a stepping stone to realization. Every religion basically guides you to reach God. Not a god that lies in the seventh dimension of heaven, or a god that punishes you when you have wronged him, Not a god that has 10 arms that each holds a weapon to slay you but the god that is within you. To realise that in the end, this world that we hold so close to ourselves, where we feed of the triumphs and failures of the materialistic world, it doesn't even exist. And that meaning, you and him are one and the same.

It doesn't mean that religion has no significance or value. It does. You need religion to understand God and to understand the inner significances of all the rituals and prayers. But doesn't all religion proclaim that man and god are one? Religions may be flawed, yes but it must be there for a higher purpose. So, if man has indeed realised that god and him are one, and that everyone else on the planet also equivalent of the same Divine Love, do we still need to segregate and separate ourselves on the name of religion?

If you are a Hindu, or Buddhist, then you would believe in the Theory of Reincarnation. It says that man will be reborn again and again till he learns to break free from this cycle of samsara or pain and misery. What is it that binds us to this cycle of rebirth? Is it our attachments to everyday things, and people? Could our attachment to our religion also be a cause of our samsara? We are so blinded by rituals, perfoming pujas when we do not know the meaning, to cleanse our houses to ward off evil spirits when our hearts are not cleansed.

I think, we should seek to follow the inner significance of the teachings of the religion instead of blindly following and fighting with other races just to prove that we are higher, or flaunt that we are the oldest religion in the world. There has to be a reason why the religion lasted for as long as did. I am not saying doing prayers and pujas are wrong. But I think before you jump into doing something just because someone is doing it, or because someone told you to, it makes sense to try to reason what is it to you. Prayers help you to think of god, constant Intergrated awareness, as we call it. And when you are aware of god, being with you at all times, your mind ceases to jump around but rather you gain control over life, over your senses and your consciousness is sharpened.

It seems absurd and child-like when men fight among themselves, trying to convince themselves that their own religion is better than another. One who is a Hindu extremist now could very well be born as a Muslim in his next life. Then what, is he going to fight for Hinduism? Definately no. Religion exist as long as man separates himself from God. God isn't the bronze statue you have in your altar, he isn't just the voice that speaks from heaven. Look around you and then you will see that everything that exist in front you is GOD. In terms of physics, it can be said that every atom and molecule that vibrates with the kynetic energy is God.

But realising all these doesn't guarantee you that the reality cease to exist and you merge back into the oblivion, into Him. We are somewhat bound by our Karmas, and truth be told, it is easy to see that swami is in you, but the trouble begins when you have to start seeing Him in everyone else. In the waiter who serves you in the Mamak, in your boss who makes your life a living hell, in the people who irk and irritate you. It is not easy. We have to let go of all the attachments we have in regards to our expectations on how people should act, and how we should be treated. Maybe then realising that God is the same in one and all would be a little easier.

That said and done, I miss Parthi. I miss the warmth of the sun, (in December mind you, not in April to June :)), I miss the coconut stall, the warm, and friendly ladies in the North Indian Canteen, the ever smiling ladies of the Western Canteen, I miss the satsangs we were having last December, I miss waking up early and sitting in anticipation waiting for swami to come, and most of all, I miss the peace and tranquility, where being good was the norm, and mind you you don't even have a single bad thought about anyone because it is swami's abode. But here, it seems so difficult, so tough, to spare that extra time to pray and meditate in the morning, to refrain from talking bout others though they harm you. Haihh.. Swami.. Help..

2009-05-22T14:52:00.002+08:00

Wish list for May 2009 to May 2010

- time, and more time
- fun and more fun
- a life!!

Ever since I started this course, I barely had time to do anything, no holidays, no empty fun weekends to do anything. No time!! And no matter how much I try to manage time, at this point of time, I really do not have the luxury of managing them.
I'm working now, doing my practicals where I see patients, trying my (our) level best to help everyone that come knocking at the clinic's door. It is tough but I love it. It is sometimes overwhelming because you do not know what exactly to do to help them solve whatever problems they have. Sometimes I think it is easier doing engineering or medicine, just because when you tell them you are an engineer, people don't stop and look at you and ask " SO what exactly do you do? Talk and advice people? Geez that must be so easy!".

It is infuriating, when people, majority of them have no idea what is it that you do. And some have the knack of telling right to your face that doing practicals isn't the real thing, you are doing a real job! What defines a real job? When you get paid? So whether or not I am helping people, changing someones life matters not?
And then just cause I am working part-time as a research assistant during the days I do not see clients, even that is seen as something easy, relaxing since all I am doing is helping someone do their research!

I think people need to stop judging how hardworking or how much a person earns and instead evaluate how good he or she is and how much has that individual helped people around him/her and made the society a better place to be in. Why do we need to judge others, and label people all sorts of names just to make ourselves feel better, a little higher??

That said and done, I am absolutely busy and I will try to continue the story bout the man and the box asap..:)

The Tale of Two Cities, of poles and pizzas

2009-05-18T23:19:00.003+08:00

This post is directed and dedicated to some certain people in my life. "Ehem Ehem** Cough Cough** It is also meant to be "simple", there is no need for dictionaries here.. ** Cough Cough**

The pole and the pizza..
The name describes it all, One is a pole, and the other claims he is Italian, and hence the Pizza. They are as different as black and white, Yin and yang, but somehow, deep inside, both pole and the pizza are truly remarkable.

Both are remarkable bullies, that's it. They have the ability to crack jokes about the grimmest, turning the most serious moments as the next episode on American Funniest Video..:)

Pole, according to the Webster's Revised Unabridged Dictionary (1913)is:-

1. A straight and slender stick; a wand; hence, any slender bar, as of wood or metal (applied to various purposes).
Specifically:
(a) An instrument of punishment or correction; figuratively, chastisement.
2. A measure of length containing sixteen and a half feet; -- called also perch, and pole.

It is totally funny, how the word /Pole/ actually kind of resembles Mr.Pole. He is tall, thin, almost slender if you insist, :)And bout the punishment part, it could be true to a certain extend, if we consider what a bully he is. But a pole also refers to a street lamp, or something that is long and is used to guide others and that's what Mr.Pole is too. His balance in life, knowing how exactly to strike a balance between spirituality, work, family and fun is something I true admirer and Pole, like the name is someone I literally look up to :)

The Pizza.."Pizza is a baked pie of Italian origin consisting of a shallow bread-like crust covered with seasoned tomato sauce, cheese, and often other toppings such as sausage or olive. The word pizza is believed to be from an Old Italian word meaning "a point," which in turn became the Italian word "pizzicare," which means "to pinch" or "pluck."

What can we say about the Pizza? :) I would risk getting called all sorts of names if I say things bout the Pizza, but what gives? Like a pizza, he is a mixture of eccentricities, and all this odd stuffs add up to make him what he is. He is well loved, can be a lil off sometimes but is the one you can turn to in times of trouble, (but perhaps not when you need directions though)

But like the original Pole and pizza, these very different but magnificent beings; my brothers, are the ones that I can depend on to brighten up my days, yes yes due to the cases I see, and due to the camera that is on all the time. Together with the other brothers, they are the ones I can call when I am in trouble, when I am feeling down, or the ones who would find humour and joke in the grimmest, most absurd things of life. :) Seriously without them, My life would be somewhat bleak, boring, and laughter-less.

Now that I have said such nice things about the two of you, please please do refrain from writing the "chronicles of the mineral bottle" !!!!

2009-05-17T12:05:00.002+08:00

A gift arrived.
It looked delicate, in a crumpled, brown box. A faded magenta ribbon meagerly tried to salvage the package. He looked at it. His weathered hands, gently touching the box. Afraid something might just jump out of it. It was addressed to him, written in a language so old, even older than him. He traced his fingers on the words, so gently, savouring the memories, each one of them, flashing before him, breathing life back into his old mortal body. He took a deep breath.

The old box, withered and torn, seemed to take a new form before him. the colours became more vivid, bright, almost vibrant and full of energy. It shook, softly, but every nerve in him was awakened. His eyes, hooded, and creased, focused on the box again.

A tear dropped as he finally began to understand the words written on the box.

(to be continued)

And Walk they did..

2009-05-12T14:26:00.004+08:00

1500
12th May 2009

The war begun almost a century and many moons ago. The warnings were clear, and brutally honest, flood, draught, typhoons, earthquakes. She hated them for invading, ruining what was hers to rule and care for. The minions, used to be under her care, they used to care and love, but somehow, as the clock struck marking a change in the century, the minions changed, almost a drastic change, as different as black and white. She doesn't know why they changed, or what precipitated the change. All she knows now is, they need to be stopped. The lives of everything else under her care is in perilous danger, and if they are destroyed, she ceases to exist too.

As she sat in her majestic chair, slumped, drowned in worry and turmoil, the worry stark,for marks of tears and lines of distress danced their way around her face. Her army was strong, stronger than the minions she needed to warn but her heart was heavy, as every attack she made, so many lives were taken away. The minions were close to her heart, and she loved them dearly as would any mother. She closed her eyes, weary, wondering if they understood, if hope still exists or is a distant memory..

She smiled, knowingly. Hope, just a glimpse of it, peeked at her from a near corner. Small and young, ever as before, Hope whispered to her about a group of young minions chose to defy their destructive nature, and instead save the lives of all the other beings which were placed under their care. Just over 6 moons ago, they started off, unsure of their footings, standing almost alone in a world where many chose to close an eye to the destruction of earth, where many contributed to the destruction, where many just did not care. Yet they stood tall, withholding their values, under the guide and support of the Walking God, Sathya Sai Baba. They climbed the mountain of Truth, fighting their cause, and trying everything that can be done to make at least a small difference, to answer to the plight of Mother Nature. They chose to Walk the talk, they chose Walk for Values.

The road was dark and treacherous, obstacles and difficulties often dropped by to say hi, but yet this group of minions persisted. Sai Youths, they called themselves. Each one was leader in his or her own way, motivating the others and pushing their fellow army when times were difficult. They finally saw light. Walk for Values 2009 was no longer a dream, a far off castle in the sky, but a reality. It was then they realised, they were not alone, the plight of Mother Earth was heard by many many more, and together, on that bright Sunny breathtakingly beautiful day, they linked hands, with tears in their eyes, they walked. And walked they did. Spreading the joy of life, and plants to others, they expanded their army. Their message were clear, voices were in unison as all differences were cast aside on that historical Sunday 10th May 2009. The voices echoed, loud and clear, not only in the residential area, but to the entire nation, and perhaps even more. The voices said : Go Green..

As the army, young and old sang in appreciation and celebration of Mother's Day which coincided with the Walk, the minions, silently prayed, and strenghtened their pledge and promise to Mother who gave them life and home.

The battle may have been won on that day, but they knew, war isn't over. The climb has to continue, no matter how ever much it will extort their sweat and tears, they will walk. And walk they will...

A little ripple

2009-04-28T14:43:00.002+08:00

28TH April 2009

My exact words were "There is so much to say, so many thoughts I want to pen down, but I just do not know where to start and how to begin". I wasn't too happy yesterday and after talking to my wonderful friends and sister, I got a better perspective on the situation. Just a few days after writing how I am happy with where I am right now, and how I know everything happens for a reason. I truly believe that whatever that happens beyond your control is there to make you a better person, like propelling you forward to your goal, the ultimate goal, be it to be a good person, to be saved during apocalyspe or just plain Moksha.

I got a very difficult person to work with in the coming three months. He is obnoxious, rude, and the worst part is he doesn't like to listen to what other people has to say. And when I came home I realised the swallow's nest outside my window was destroyed by the contractors who were painting and seeing these birds losing their home kind of did it for me, the straw that broke my back. I couldn't help but feel sad and depressed.

It is easy to know a knowledge, but when it comes to understanding them, it is a whole different story. Well, it is always when a ripples shake the calm surface of the sea, or lake, you realise your stand and appreciate the good times :)

All you need is love <3

2009-04-25T21:02:00.003+08:00

And so, people tell me that I am different.
Truth be told, I am different, from whom I used to be. If you knew me back then, and if you know me now, you would probably notice it too.
No more chip on the shoulder, no more being inhibited and always afraid of what people think.
It took me time, but I learnt, that I matter, and people who thought and made me feel otherwise, just don't matter no more :)
This is what life does to you, it helps you to grow and just recently I had this epiphany. Some of us, depending on where you are in life, are like butterflies, really.
You start off as a caterpillar, just moving on with life, doing what you are supposed to do, and though you know you have better things lined up for you in the future, but you can't quite put your finger to it. And then things happen, experiences and all, it slowly stretches you. Especially events in life that you have no control over. It stretches you to a point that you just can't take it anymore, and poof, (perhaps not that magically), you change, maybe to a butterfly ( or a moth ~depends on your idea on life) or perhaps you just have a new skin. It doesn't matter really. What happens is you just become a brand new person, you feel free, and life is a whole new place to explore and grow again.

That is how I feel now. Uninhibited, free, and whole (not totally, but I am working on it :)) I tell you, it's the hair!! Having short hair does a whole lot of difference to you.

I used to care and spend a lot of time wondering what people would think of the things I do, what I wore, what I said, about everything really. Yes I had esteem issues, and why I had them isn't important anymore. The truly important thing is that now, this things, what people say and do just doesn't matter anymore. Everyone is as different as they can be, no two person is ever the same, even twins. It is a blatant truth, but it is funny how many of us float along life, just trying to mould ourselves to fit what someone else wants for you. It could be moulding yourself for your partner, your family, or the society or even for someone you like, say an artist or anyone. What happens is, in the process of moulding, you lose yourself, your true nature, your colourfulness, and end up just like any other person, unreal, and plastic, you lose yourself and the ability to love yourself. Tell me, how can you ever love anyone else, if you don't love yourself first? And loving myself is what I am doing right now.

With that said and done, I, just had the most relaxing saturday ever that a girl can have! Shopping!! I got myself 2 dresses, a work top and pants. Darshie and I shopped till we dropped. It started with lunch in Chat Masala, and we had chicken briyani (veg of course) and then we went shopping followed by coffee n the most sinful cheesy pizza in Italiannies.. (Ati risk of sounding totally gay *wink, i am saying this) Told ya, I had a great day with my favourite girl :)

Global Warming

2009-04-20T14:48:00.002+08:00

The weather in KL is unbearable and I have been hearing that it is almost the same everywhere else around Malaysia.

To those idiots out there who are still in denial of global warming, and environmental destruction, time to set your facts straight. It is here, and will be here, meaner than ever. So instead of wasting your time, trying to convince people that the melting of the polar caps and emission of carbon is a natural process, try to utilize your time to help make a difference and make a change.

This is aimed at those scientist out there, and including some in M'sia who seems to think that Global warming is just a govermental hoax (Read: U.S plan to increase tax consumption on environmental products etc. Apparently, the huge effort for Earth Hour was plain useless since it didn't make a difference (what about creating awareness you dimwits?) and the increase of green house gas, is normal and this whole global warming is just a natural process that occurs every few million years...

So much for knowledge and empathy eh?

2009-04-19T00:40:00.002+08:00

Dear Reader,

I may not know who you are, or I may. It doesn't matter that much as I owe you this much, and here is a gift just for you. A WHOLE NEW TEMPLATE:)) yay.. Isn't nice? I picked it out by myself just for you. I know I haven't been updating that often, and so today, instead of studying for my finals like how I should have been doing, I spent a whole load of time, making this blog nice for you. It doesn't hurt that I love it too.

xoxo,
The Writer

p.s: I am almost done with my first year of Masters. Can't believe I came this far, and I am happy right where I am now. Perfecto, and starting May I am going to start my practicals, seeing patients and all.:))

2009-04-18T22:56:00.002+08:00

As I sit here, snuggled in the crook of my bed, my mind wondering, through high buildings, and low mangers, sweet smelling flowers, and desert roses, I stop to think of the reality of everything. It is a notion that has been harping on mind for quite sometime recently, and I really wonder on it's existence. How everything we see and smell and touch and hear, is here because and only because you believe in it. If you cease to believe, is that death? Or would you just cease to exist in this world of uncertainty and dreamplays? And merge into the one-ness of everything? Basically in Him.

Do you recall everyone how you were as a child? Do you remember how every colour was so vivid, how every senses where waiting in anticipation just for the moment you could be unleashed to the forbidden world of play? How the world around you stopped revolving the moment you start colouring and drawing or just playing? It was just you and only you existed at that moment.

Do you now recall a dream, a vivid one, with you, some family members perhaps,in some place you had visited before? How real it seems, to be there and cherishing everything, or to be running for your life, YOUR SAFETY, in a nightmare, only to wake up and realise it was just a dream.

My train of thoughts wanders, derailed, just floating along the night sky. I have got nothing interesting to say, nothing smart to reply.

Just that, right now, I am choosing to revel in life. To breathe, to smile, to feel, the raw nakedness of emotions and senses, just to exist, because I choose to.
Knowing this, having this knowledge is liberating by itself. I am here, because I choose to me, and I know come what may, I can handle it. It feels light, somewhat like a piece of the crytogram or puzzle is complete. I feel whole.

You may get this post, you may not. Maybe now maybe never. It matters not, for we are all the same eventually, the differences aren't that many, we are more alike than we know :)

2009-04-05T18:36:00.002+08:00

I am frustated. So yeah this is going to be a pleasant post.
I am tired of being nice, accomodating whilst I am being embarassed and shouted at. I am tired of all the work load I have and I feel like I need some time to sort my brain out.I dislike multi-tasking, I want to revel in days that I did not have to study and work my butt off to gain some extra cash.
I need a break, I need to stay away from books, I need to stay from people who only complain and never see the good in others. I wish I can stop time. So I can sit, go for a holiday, and get everything sorted out. I want to be able to compartmentalise my brain so I can do a number of things at the same time. I basically wish I was at home with mom and dad. Yeah I would not get so much of freedom, but apparently now I know that freedom comes with a heavy pricetag.

*sigh.. I need to take a step back, and relax. But times running out. I don't know how I am going to do this.

Right now, all I want is for this dull headache to go away and to be able to fall asleep at night. Stress + insomnia is not funny at all..

2009-03-26T18:16:00.002+08:00

I am at lost as to what to type. I really have no idea. My brain is steaming from the flu and fever med I took earlier. I have no idea why I have such low tolerance to drugs, and what exactly happens to make me feel this way.
My body feels weak, head gets heavy, n I get dizzy..
So much of work to do, and I haven't even started yet.:(

2009-03-16T22:59:00.002+08:00

I am depressed. I want to cry, and I try but no tears seems to be coming.
Maybe it is because I know what is the right thing.
And the right thing is just follow whatever your parents say. Do what they need you to do and not hurt them.
I am saying this because my sisters and I were supposed to go to Redang, this weekend. And the Lord knows how much we needed a break. Both my elder sisters are having problems at work, and I need a break from all these working and studying, and younger sis, deserves a treat for her excellent result.
And then came the Dad saying NO. Don't go, not safe, weather's unreliable and waves are strong and all.
So, how can I still go ahead? I was so confused. Should I heed dad's warning and not go, or go ahead? I need the holiday.
And then, Haihh... I followed my heart, as painful as it is, I listened to it.. And decided not to go.
Since I always am the first one to say the cliche "everything happens for a reason", it only makes sense to believe in it myself.

Hmm... *hugs*.. Will go soon. I am sure swami has a plan, he is making this happen for a reason, and I am not angry with dad but I am actually sad Swami didnt make this work out.

woooo hoooo..
I will let myself fall,
the world is beyond my control,
the people around me are beyond my control,
the weather, the temperature, the seasons,
are all beyond my control,
But what I choose to do
is in my control,
How I feel is in my control,
And I choose,
to let go,
allow life to happen,
I choose to not get attached,
to the outcomes of my plans,
I choose to just live..
and smile....

Tree Planting session, here I come..

2009-03-16T11:34:00.002+08:00

I can't wait.
It makes my heart pound faster, my pressure rises up gently, and I get slight goose-bumps. And all these happens, just by a small flicker of my mind. Just by thinking of things that I like, photography, and art and Holidays.
Thinking of all the beautiful exotic shots I can take when I get my camera (soon soon), gets me excited. I feel like a kid seeing the world for the first time. This fascination with photography isn't new, I like it, not because it is an IN thing to do.
It amazes me how you can capture an image on a film, on a paper, and not only capture the image, but also the colours, vivid brightness and also the raw emotions on paper. It is as if the trick to capture emotions and feelings, are by taking a snapshot. And the moment you look back at a photo, no matter how ancient, how rusty, how dog-eared it is, emotions flood back into you. Such Magic.

I can't wait. to unleash the magic

2009-03-06T10:36:00.002+08:00

whhhheeeeee

I wonder, and I ponder,
why on earth are so many people born either in Jan or March? And I know so few people born in July..

I seriously wonder..

I am looking forward to this Saturday :)Sis's engagement. Looking forward to meet everyone, the whole jingbang, the sp ppl, the KL bunch and the relations from Penang :) yay.. its going to be so much of fun, cant wait..

But yeah, together with all this, there is something that i dread.
No not anyone in particular,
not even the assignment and presentations that follow ..

but..

the nagging questions from all this aunties and some uncles..

"SO?? ITS YOUR TURN NEXT! WHEN IS IT GOING TO BE? HOW SOON????"

arrrgggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Im just going to drag darshie and say Im getting married to her..
Gay rights!! hahaha

2009-03-04T10:11:00.002+08:00

Hellooo ;)

Despite only sleeping for 2 hours last night, and the crazy amount of work I have, life is good.. Its all good and its at a just nice, warm enough to sleep state..Pardon the pun, I am just sleepy. :)

I just cant wait to get done with my studying, hoping to get my external placements in the places I applied for, and start travelling! Yay...
It would be awesome to not only go elsewhere for the internship but also to travel all around the place.. Fingers crossed..

And then there is this other matter, that I am confused..How can one choose? Its not far.. I like both of them, and putting me in this predicament is so unfair! I am torn,,,

....
,,,,,,
........

a Laptop or DSLR ??

hehehe.. :D
It is a confusion.. A massive one at that..

My current laptop is so broken, its hanging a thread.. And it doesnt to work properly, getting overheated and all.. So bloody irritating!But it still runs.

But I want a camera .. I need to pamper myself after all the hardwork I am putting in, trying to manage studying and working at the same time.. Its not funny..

So you tell me.. while you are thinking, I will work on my campaigns, presentations and then enjoy my wonderful holiday in Redang .. Oh boy.. LIfe is good... Misery? What's That ??

2009-02-25T10:34:00.002+08:00

Almost one year down the road, it hits me again. Right smack in the middle of my face.
How does one let go? I realized I haven't. I get uneasy if I imagine him with someone else, but the thing is, I want him to be with someone else. I just am so confused. I do not want a relationship with the same person, but I miss not having it. I keep forgetting all the pain, and all I remember are the good times, and that makes it even more difficult.

I am clear and certain I did the right thing. I know I made the right decision. I also know for certain and I have no doubts that Swami will send someone soon. But I don't understand why there are times I feel like I haven't let go. At other times, I don't even think about it, and I feel like I have moved on.

HMmmm.. The laments of a broken heart eh... No not actually. I guess, it all started again after Thaipusam, cause we used to meet up during the day back in Ipoh, and being there at the same time, and not doing it this year felt weird, and it has been in my subconscious ever since.

It is also probably all these stress, work (yeah im working now :( ), all the exams, assignments, presentations, uni politics.. whoa.. a little too much to endure.. And so at times of high stress like this, you tend to regress, and you remember comforting times of the past, and so I thought of u.

Its ok.. I will get over it, I will move on as we all do. It is taking sometime because I probably still have lessons to learn from this.. :))

On a bright note, life is all good.. I havent blogged in ages because I have absolutely no time. Whatever free times are spent either with the girls, or Sai work, or uni....

Sister's engagement is coming, yay :) and Im getting my slr soon after, :)

2009-01-23T15:05:00.000+08:00

It is time to continue the previous post. Darshie sweets, please don't thank me. I did not do anything at all to help and I could have so much more. I am just sorry I wasn't there as much as I wanted to.

Moving on to the other things that happened, Happy fun things, my good friend from Australia was down,, Yay.. Am.. We have been best of friends since we were 16, the year i shifted to Ipoh. And she was this prefect in school, very smart, kind and also funny, especially when it comes to doing silly things in school. I remember there was this time back in Form 4 when we were busy painting the classroom and picture this .....

flashback.....

...
....
Alright alright.. the classroom walls had hieroglyphs (ancient egyptian writing) -gold on black walls,
And the front part of the class, we did graffiti (I know, How cool right?? :))
So anyways, the grafitti, we painted our class name (4 orchid,, n the year 200-something in blood red, with the bloody effect!! ( You know, the effect you get if you spray the paint too close to the wall and it drips- hence the blood effect??) Yeap thats the one...Nice right :)

So we finished painting the class, and we were so proud of our work, and we were the envy of the other classes and all... And came the Class Party Day..

As it fell on OCT 31, we decided the theme for the party should be Halloween, and dress up like ghost and ghouls and all. And so we came with rolls and rolls of toilet rolls, and started wrapping ourselves up to be mummies, Ameeta became a vampire (with the help of black garbage bag and fake teeth ??), another became vampire/devil.. some evil persona..

So anyway what happened then was, some teachers came over to the class to feast and all, and suddenly comes the Assistant Principle (PK HEM) and I think the disciplin teacher and they start screaming at us, asking how come we are dressed up as Ghosts and how come the class was so dark ( we had candles and the doors were covered with shreded black garbage bags and we even had a carved pumpkin in the middle... Nice right??) Nope they didnt think so. The teachers thought, they actually thought we were in a cult, we probably are in this Black Metal Cult group since it was a Hype at that time. To add to their believe, they saw the bloody effect of the graffiti and they were convinced that we are satanic, we did offering in blood and we probably run amok burning holy books!! Goodness.. We tried explaining and you can guess as much that she didnt believe us at all. It was ridiculous, we had to tear off the black plastic layering at the door, blow off the candles and the next day, repaint over the bloody effect :((

Its sad how teachers nowadays, or perhaps like 7 years ago (ok ok,, only some) they don't seem to understand the students they are teaching. I mean if you are teaching a bunch of 16 year olds, then it would do you good if you could at least find out somethings about their likes, whats in or not right?

But the worst of the lot, in my opinion would be primary school teachers, who forbid primary kids to run around. You won't believe the things they say during school assembly. How would I know? Oh boy, the apartment I am staying in, is right next to a primary school. The kids are actually shouted at every morning, without fail. And they are forbidden to runaround and play during Recess time. Can you imagine, study study till its recess, then you buy your food, eat in total silence n awe ( okay, exageration again.. :)) and then line up and back to class to study more. And once school is over, you got to rush back to the bus or parent's car and to the next destination (tuitions/piano class/ballet/taekwandoe/wushu?? haha... I don't know what this kids do anyway).

I would think, it is so much more stressful to be a primary school kid than being anything else... At least to a certain extend..

Agree, no??

2009-01-17T15:47:00.002+08:00

Its 17 days pass the New Year,, and I still don't have any resolutions.. AH.. heck the resolutions.. Who need them anyway, its not like I will even remember them by June :)

Anyway, yep, been ages since the last post, and so many events took place. Happy events, sad events, events that tear your heart into pieces and other events that make you laugh till you have a stitch in your sides. As you all may or may not know (depending on if you read the news or not), there was a recent landslide in Bukit Antarabangsa in early Dec and it claimed the life of my very good friend's cousin, Dr. Yoges. I personally do not know her, haven't met her but her passing took me by surprise and it was so painful to see how much my friend and the rest of the family was suffering and dealing with the lost. It hurt to see the people you care about in so much of pain, and you cant do anyting about it. The landslide was a day before I left to India, and thus, I couldnt even visit her.

You know how when you read the papers or watch the news, and there are people dying almost every other day due to some calamity, you feel sorry for the person and their family, but the feeling just stops there. You don't spend weeks dwelling on the emotion and grieve, you don't mourne for them (probably not as much), and sooner or later, it goes out of your mind, somewhere in your subconcious domain. But this event, this death, shocked me to my core. I started wondering how would I deal if I lost my parents, or siblings, and I just couldn't do anything about it. I didnt want to go to India, and started having doubts and was very anxious on the safety of my family.

Though I wanted to go to India so badly, I started having hestitations, doubts.. You know death is just a part of life, you know you should detach yourself from everything that isn't permanent here in this world, and yet when it hits you, it hits you smack on your face. Yep, I do not have an answer to how I manage to overcome the feeling, or if i supressed it. Whatever happens, happens for a reason..

to be continued ....

2008-11-14T17:35:00.002+08:00

today is the The day I get to smile, and look back and still keep smiling..

I know my posts have been all mundane, and bleak and pretty much all dysthymic and all. But today it changes because, I realize this is long overdue. Life is so short, so why waste time being sad and angry and all those negative emotions and all. I cant be holding back just because other people are sad. Its all how you look at it anyway...Plus, I am just excited my exams are over. It was tough but I surrendered and so what ever comes, it is all His work. Failure or pass, its his call :) I am just going to sit back and enjoy the days. Happy holidays to you too.

2008-11-04T10:55:00.000+08:00

I pray for strength to withstand the challenges,
and to carry the sword of truth
I pray for courage to keep walking forward,
though it seems like an uphill battle
I pray for tolerance and forbearance,
to forgive those who have caused pain
I pray for empathy and love
to bless those are kind and virtuous
I pray for patience so I know tomorrow will be a better day,
I pray for your grace to guard and guide me in every step I take,
And I pray for a prayer to be always on my lips

2008-11-02T20:57:00.002+08:00

Am not feeling too good about the way things are. I thought it will be easier as time flies, but I guess the past has a way of catching up no matter how fast or far you run.

I got caught. It is suffice to say it wasn't a very happy event.

Date: the past one week
theme of the event: betrayal
props used: hurt, anger, sadness, a colourful concoction of emotions

And I don't know anymore. People do things you least expect them to, so lesson learned is not to have any expectations at all. Plus it all had to happen a week before my finals.. :(

I will be okay. I am okay. I am just going to say " hey whatever! and move on"

2008-10-28T14:28:00.002+08:00

Oh boy...

I am so sorry I never got the time to blog recently. Yep blame it on the Masters program. Its so hectic and I still have assignments due this week. And final's next week, with 6 papers to go.. Oh boy yet again..

But lets see, I haven't blogged for a month plus, right? But lots of things happened actually. To be honest, I didnt want to blog because of a certain person. And just recently I found out how childish this whole ordeal was and I realized that since he doesn't care anymore, I shouldn't be perturbed anymore too. So yeah.. :)

I am alright on the whole. Not being in a relationship taught me many many things. The biggest lesson is to Always and Always make sure you know who you are getting into a relationship with. Or else, this is what happens. But I'm glad it happened. I learnt so much from everything, and I can say I am a better person now.

Nope no one new yet.. (in case if you r wondering) and nope again, I really don't want to get involved yet too. But do notice that I am saying this because there aren't any eligible ones around.. :) I don't have the time though. This whole post-grad is sucking up and consuming my entire life. I only have enough time to go for prayers and get involved in whatever activities. Thats all..

Diwali was a simple affair this year. Both my elder sisters left in the afternoon itself, so it was just me and my younger sister at home at night. We played with firecrackers the day before.. Shall upload the video on Facebook. And now I really must start studying for my exams. And in Dec, I am going to India again.. Yippie.. Same place, Prashanti Nilayam, in Andhra.. And then the stress starts again for another semester of coursework before I start my practicals..

I am so sorry that I don't have that much of time to blog anymore. Plus I don't even have proper net connection at home.. Damn.. Do bear with me.. Will try to write more often.. Have a good week ahead

2008-09-24T20:06:00.001+08:00

A thought provoking story ....

Once a king called upon all of his wise men and asked them, " Is there a mantra or suggestion which works in every situation, in every circumstances, in every place and in every time. In every joy, every
sorrow, every defeat and every victory? One answer for all questions? Something which can help me when none of you is available to advise me? Tell me is there any mantra?"

All the wise men were puzzled by the King's question. They thought and thought. After a lengthy discussion, an old man suggested something which appealed to all of them. They went to the king and
gave him something written on paper, with a condition that the king was not to see it out of curiosity. Only in extreme danger, when the King finds himself alone and there seems to be no way, only then he can see it. The King put the papers under his diamond ring.

Some time later, the neighbours attacked the Kingdom. King and his army fought bravely but lost the battle. The King had to flee on his horse. The enemies were following him. getting closer and closer. Suddenly the King found himself standing at the end of the road - that road was not going anywhere. Underneath there was a rocky valley thousand feet deep. If he jumped into it, he would be finished...and he could not return because it was a small road...the sound of enemy's horses was approaching fast. The King became restless. There seemed to be no way.

Then suddenly he saw the Diamond in his ring shining in the sun, and he remembered the message hidden in the ring. He opened the diamond and read the message. The message was - "THIS TOO SHALL PASS"

The King read it. Again read it. Suddenly something struck him- Yes! This too will pass. Only a few days ago, I was enjoying my kingdom. I was the mightiest of all the Kings. Yet today, the Kingdom
and all his pleasure have gone. I am here trying to escape from enemies. Like those days of luxuries have gone, this day of danger too will pass. Calmness came on his face. He kept standing there. The place where he was standing was full of natural beauty. He had never known that such a beautiful place was also a part of his Kingdom. The revelation of the message had a great effect on him. He relaxed and
forgot about those following him. After a few minutes he realized that the noise of the horses and the enemy coming was receding. They moved into some other part of the mountains and were near him.

The King was very brave. He reorganised his army and fought again. He defeated the enemy and regained his empire. When he returned to his empire after victory, he was received with much fanfare. The whole capital was rejoicing in the victory. Everyone was in a festive mood.
Flowers were being showered on King from every house, from every corner. People were dancing and singing. For a moment King said to himself," I am one of the bravest and greatest Kings. It is not easy to
defeat me. With all the reception and celebration he saw an ego emerging in him.

Suddenly the Diamond of his ring flashed in the sunlight and reminded him of the message. He opened it and read it again: "THIS TOO SHALL PASS". He became silent. His face went through a total change - from the egoist he moved to a state of utter humbleness. If this too is going to pass, it is not yours. The defeat was not yours, the victory is not yours. You are just a watcher. Everything passes by. We are
witnesses of all this. We are the perceivers. Life comes and goes. Happiness comes and goes. Sorrow comes and goes.

Now that we have read this story, let us each just sit silently and evaluate our own life. This too will pass. Think of the moments of joy and victory in our life. Think of the moment of sorrow and defeat. Are they permanent? They all come and pass away. Life just passes away. There is nothing permanent in this world. Every thing changes except the law of change. Think over it from our own perspective. We have seen all the changes, we have survived all setbacks, all defeats and all sorrows. All have passed away. The problems in the present, they too will pass away. Because nothing remains forever.

As Swami always reminds us.....

Happiness and Sorrow are the two faces of the same coin.
We are just the witnesses of these changes.
Experience it, understand it, and enjoy the present moment - live in the 'now'....
because this too shall pass!

2008-09-09T19:50:00.002+08:00

I am wondering if I should carry on with this blog. It doesnt seem to fit its purpose anymore. Wait, there are no purposes, but hmm..

Life is pretty stressful right now. Managed to hand in 2 of assignments and I still have another 3 to go. Then comes the part of your life. The one that has to do with all the other people in your life. You try to please one party, then end up getting screwed by another. Lecturers in uni are not up to any standard at all. Just because u have a post grad degree, doesn't mean you are all too good and you can go around yelling ryt?

Hhmm.. I am wondering,, will it ever get any better. I should probably diagnose myself for depression.. haha.. Just am so glad I have a whole bunch of wonderful classmates, and friends and family who care. But then one still needs to whine n complain don't they..?? :)

BTW, the line between complaining and explaining your life is so thin, ppl always get confused with the both. does it even matter anyway??\
..

2008-09-02T18:39:00.002+08:00

I know I haven't been updating the blog often. I seriously don't have the time. Argh I don't know. I need to increase my motivation and self discipline. I have four assignments to pass up. Let me explain.

1) Thesis proposal that we will be working on next year
current status - 1% as I have just identified the topic I might be interested in. Even then, I am not entirely sure as I cant seem to find enough back up data on the likes of this study. Tough?? yep. Tell me all about it

2) Thesis critique - To identify the mistakes in a pass year thesis and summarize it in 5 pages.
current status :-0%

3)Assessment tool review - To pick an assessment tool and explain all about it including studies on reliability, validity etc. You also need to run the test on someone and get the data on it and explain on how you calculate and measure the scores
current status - 0%

4) Task Analysis - To describe in detail how do you travel from home to class. To include in all the cues and natural consequences if those steps were not taken.
current status - 90%

Thus, so far I have only managed to complete one and even that isnt 100% done. What am I do to? I came back from class, did some research online and wanted to take a short 30 min nap but that dragged on to 2 hours!!! I am so going to fail my course... I need to buck up..

And on top of this, I am required to go back to Ipoh almost every other weekend to coach my younger sis who is sitting for SPM this year. Its not that I don't like going back or helping her out. It is just that I am at a point I dont even have time to resurface and breath and I am expected to this. When I say I have to do my assignments, I am labelled as selfish.. Tell me, is it okay to go back and coach coach my sis and fail my studies is it? huh?? argh..

2008-08-28T22:20:00.002+08:00

i have been busy.. classes everyday n all.. no time for anything.. so stressed out that i got another cold sore.. damn.. i need to learn to apply all the relaxation techniques i learned on myself..:)) had an exam today. The questions that were asked had nothing to do with what we were told or advised on. So I am sure you will understand our frustrations. Plus, on top of that, the lecturer had the nerve of smirking through out the whole exams, just because he knew we didnt like him at all, and thought the worst of him. It is true anyway. Alright, enough of that.

I like it now, life seems ok. "I know its tough but I have to do this for our future. Me and you." Its hard of course, who ever said it wasn't. But in life we learn, through pain and happiness, its just a cycle. Wheel of life.. How Buddhist is this? I don't think I have the liberty of coming online so often anymore and writing this. I almost feel guilty doing this. Well, will try to update the blog as often as i can.. :))

Have a good Weekend..

2008-08-13T23:48:00.002+08:00

Its been a hectic week, tiring weekend, and pleasant day. Actually not so much of the day being pleasant. It was fine. Just plain fine. My convocation was on Monday :) yep big smiles. I am officially done with my degree. I wasn't feeling excited or even deliriously happy regarding my graduation. Perhaps its because I am still studying, still lugging my bad across KL, still walking here and there and getting dark, and perhaps, because I am still going to classes, and have tonnes of assignments due!! But then, I actually started getting nervous, and had tiny-weeny butterflies in my stomach on Monday :).. Actually that was probably cause I was pissed and nervous since the Uni forgot to attach my parents' entrance pass in the bag with my robe. Had to go early and get them and it was a dreadfully hot day. Was ALREADY sweating pails by the time I entered the hall for the ceremony. Anyway, it was really fun, getting to meet up with old friends, took a lot of photos :) will post in my Facebook account.. hehe.. And when to the studio to take a couple of shots with the family..

Dad couldn't make it though and I didnt feel the need to invite so many people, mainly because I was still studying. Lets just hope I will be able to graduate this time too, haihh... Course is getting difficult, Im getting lost and blur. The mountain of assignments seem to be ever rising, and guess what?? My theses proposal is due in 2 weeks time, and I don't even have a topic yet.. arghh.. Seriously, things just dun seem to get better at all..What law was it again? Murphy's Law I think. Saying something like, if there are chances for something to go wrong, everything else will be going wrong. I don't know exactly.:)

But then again, its not like I don't like my course or I'm complaining about it, I am just a lil stressed if I will be able to handle all these assignments and workload.. I sure hope I do.. I cant afford to screw up this.. Pray for me...

2008-08-09T00:00:00.002+08:00

argghhhh...
stupid stupid guy... I went for a haircut.. In a saloon in Sg Wang..
He chopped off my fringe... I didnt ask to look like a japanese doll..
Noooo... Its horrible, horrifyin, terrifying..

haihhhh... I have to just wait for it to grow out..

2008-08-06T16:18:00.003+08:00

I saw this message on someone's shoutout and I think it hit home.
"Love the heart that hurts you and never hurt the heart that loves you".
I thought that if you push yourself away from the problem, or pain, it won't be able to hurt you. Little did I realise, it doesn't matter how far you try to go, it will still sneak up behind you and hurt you anyways.

So there is this person, A, who wasn't very kind to me and owes me something, and I decided that its time to ask back for it. But apparently that person then said some mean things about me just becaused I asked for it back. And started ignoring every call or message. I was upset, because I wasn't what A claimed I was. Then it dawned on me. It will be painful, it will be hurting if I allow it to hurt me.

As my lecturer Dr Alvin had always said, a problem will only be a problem if you think its a problem. Thus, hmm. if A doesn't want to give it back, no problems. I will assume and change the way i react and assume the situation. Take it as I donated all those to A. It won't change me. .

That said and done, I am glad I got into the Master's program. Its probably one of my greatest accomplishment so far. Out of 70 plus only 11 of us are in the course. That isn't why Im gloating about it. I am happy because Im actually getting to understand myself. Why I am the way I am and how I respond in relation to others, family, and friends. I can now identify what went wrong were and how I can now change somethings that I wasn't happy about...

I may not be perfect. There are are a lot of parts of me that I need to work on and change. But so what. Who's perfect?? I am happy being me. Thats why I am me!
And for you, A, you know who you are. If you think I am what you said I am, so be it. If you decide to ignore my messages and pretend I don't exist anymore, so be it. Keep it.. I forgive you anyway..

Life is liberating once you learn to step back and breathe and not bother about what others think about you.. Thats my motto now :))

2008-07-28T23:14:00.002+08:00

When you walk on forward and not turn back,
and you are unsure of the steps and the future,
wishing you could just retreat and take a few steps back,
is it faith?
or is it blind courage?

If you turn your head backwards,
hoping to see,
glimpses of past,
wishing it will resurface,
instead you see darkness,
and potholes on the path,
looking front, its no difference,
but one is just a mirage,
another is a reflection,
Do you rely on your knowledge,
or do you surrender?

so what works where?
blind faith and courage,
surrender and knowledge,
will you ever know?
even if you try and fail,
will you ever realize,
is it something you can ever realize?

2008-07-27T01:14:00.002+08:00

Life has been quite a roller coaster recently. Things are going way out of hand, but maybe this time i should just go with the flow.
I was very confused recently, regarding my decisions in life and a good friend told me this " to think back some day in the future, when im happy n worryless, about the choices i had to make. The 1st thing that comes to my mind will be the one which will make me happy".. I should try that out. I will, some day in the near future.

I am growing day by day. Classes are so un-class like. We have to revise every single theory and piece of knowledge that we learnt in undergrad. And to top it up, now we have to memorize all the sypmtoms and learn how to diagnose and figure out what to help and how. Its so sad that so many people don't even understand what is psychology and what a clinical psychologist does. And the worst part is the whole stigma and prejudice not only on people who have mental disorders but also children who are slow learners, or transexuals and such.

I am not perfect. I get pissed and mad with people too, especially if they test my patience. But this was plain stupid. The police arrested a whole bunch of transexuals because the had a pageant in Kelantan. And the news caster called them "Pondan" aka faggot.. Thats just stupid. Why on earth was she being biased and prejudice. Its not like they want to be like that right? Who on earth would choose to be someone like that. They are born that way and they have to make do with what they are. Who are we to label and judge people who aren't like us? We call ourselves normal but we behave in such a degrading manner. Anyone with any sort of mental problem is immediately labelled as a psycho. Any child who is a lil slow is called stupid!

Shouldn't we all realise we are nothing and no one to label others? We who are able, should accept them and care for them. Or else whats the big fat difference between us and them or us and animals?

Think.!!

2008-07-21T10:17:00.002+08:00

monday mornings :) a cup of coffee.. some biscuits.. hmm.. perfect isn't its well i guess its all more perfect thanks to my classes which only starts at 2 :) yippie no waking up at 6 plus and taking the bus.

i am still bunking in with my sister and she doesn't have Internet connection so, unless I can hijack a wireless from the someone in the building.. tee hee.. but yeah life goes on. Its going to be the third week of class. Classes are getting tougher. I really need to buck up, and read up on every single theory and topic that we studied in undergrad. And thats really a lot. My coursemates are such darlings. All ten of us are girls, and yes not a single boy. Lecturers are real good, they really try to make you understand what the topic is about and how we can practice it.. I need to get going.. coffee is awaiting.. :)

2008-07-12T13:17:00.002+08:00

Its been a week since I started classes in Masters of Clinical Psychology, and oh boy, it is so ever different from Undergrad studies. Totally different as actually an understatement. There are 10 of us now, all girls ( yep, the female species is so much more smarter) ahah.. I am being a feminist here :) A guy was supposed to enter, but he is awaiting his offer letter, thus soon enough it will be a guy and 10 girls. A variety of us to bully him, you think? Lecturers are nice, some more than the other. Im taking 6 subjects this semester, and 5 next. The next year will be practicals in hospitals under our own supervisors or external supervisors if we apply to a different country or state. I was initially planning on doing so, but I found out that if I were to apply say to NZ/ AUS for my practical, I have to search for a supervisor from an uni there and my uni has to certify that he is well and able to supervise and I have to pay him to supervise me. And this can actually rise up to a quite a large some of cash, perhaps either paying him by hour or semester. Thus, now I am actually wondering if i should just stay here.

Most of my classmates are older than me, most had worked before, either in the psy. department or area or just any other corporate arena. I am only one who is a fresh graduate and I am really blessed and thankful I made it to the course. It is seriously difficult to get into, and Thanks swami for giving me this opportunity to learn so much and help the people out there. Even in the 1st week, we has already commenced with lessons and assignments and it is so tiring. I am still getting use to the commuting and still am searching for a place to stay. Found a room recently but the owner gave it away to someone else in a matter of hours before me. But nevermind, I am sure Swami has His plans and He will find a proper place for me to stay. (You better do Swami).. hehe

I came back home, to Ipoh. Yeah I know! I just went last week, but commitments to family, more precisely sister dragged me home. And I'm leaving today in a couple of hours to go back to KL. haih. Tiring isn't? And tomorrow, there is a session on inner cleansing by Un. Vasu in SS3. Compulsory attendance for all Sai TY coordinators and the Nat team. Which reminds me, I still haven't completed the module we were supposed to do and pass up in May. Its absout inner peace and I am totally lost and stuck. Do I write a module on how do you get peace? Is it through love? or by controlling your senses? I don't know! haih.. Kuna akKA is so going to kill me. Well gotta run and grab some lunch..
will update soon. No internet connection is sis's place or the uni, so once I get my room I will be posting much more often.

2008-07-02T19:40:00.003+08:00

I removed the original post.. Ask me if u want to read it. Am letting go but am not ready to think and analyze it. Maybe I dont even have to.

2008-07-02T11:26:00.002+08:00

I miss you like how a child misses a playground
its a part of him,
the swings and the sandbox,
and he cries on rainy days,
not being able to play.
to jump around and slide,
in puddles and from trees,
You will be a part of me,
and I will always love you,
just like how i miss a candy-cane,
or like how i miss climbing trees,
i know the longing will disappear
soon there won't be sadness or pain,
i won't long for a playground anymore,
I have grown,
but you will always be a part of me,
for which child grew without a playground

2008-06-27T21:52:00.002+08:00

i went on a movie spree.. haha.. yes i'm that free. I came down to KL for my orientation n yes my uni is in CHOW KIT. I know!! of all places Chow Kit..aduhh... That isnt a good area at all.. Picture this.. Im sitting in the monorail. Time= 8.30 am. The train is full to the core, full of corporate figures, chasing down hard earned cash and they start dispersing out one by one station. (Oh Chow kit is the 2nd last station in the monorail line). So there i am sitting, people watching and slowly the crowd thins out. And finally when i reach Chow kit, not a single corporate figure goes out with me. NIL.. The only kinda people who accompanied me out were aliens.. haha.. or immigrants.. Im not being racist or prejudice here. All i am saying is that, Chow kit is such an area. U know, the kind full of anyone but A Malaysian..

Went to an unevenful orientation. There are only 7 of us in my course, and I m pretty sure there r only like 1/2 guys.. Sad case ha.. And apparently next year, they wont be opening up masters in clinical psy because they have to review the program. Thus i think im pretty blessed to have gotten it this year. And it also seems from the 70 + who applied, 20+got an interview and we r cream of the crop here.. haha.. yes yes im being boastful.. ah.. who cares.. hehe

met a very nice coursemate, she is nice.. sweet.. will be known hereon as Ms. Directionally Challenged.. haha..No seriously, she says she is. I have yet to test her claims.. might be moving wid her though.. and my class starts soon

I WATCHED HULK (rating 2/10) and MADE OF HONOR ( rating 100/10) ahhhhh.. swoons.. mc dreamy is so so so dreamable.. he is ahh.. drools... haha.. seriously.. cuteness to the max!! im sure all you girls will agree.. please go watch the movie.. its the same old story but then, its just refreshing at the same time..great humor actually,.. Me and Darshie (my date for the day), we were laughing our heads off.. Sadly we were the only two who were laughing.. The rest them must be extremely slow not to get the jokes...

photos... ahh.. yeah. soon soon.. hehe

2008-06-23T14:03:00.002+08:00

its been a long time since i last posted a proper post..I had a thoroughly eventful month.. I came back Ipoh last month?? Somewhere in the middle of the month, whereby I was busy preparing for my sis's wedding. Yes yes.. photos.. I never seem to find the proper time to upload.. Its not that I dont want to, but it just so happens that everytime i try to upload, my pc starts giving problems, slows down, almost as if its sulking and what not.. gosh..Pcs' r definitely from the male specimen..haha..

So yeah i will upload soon enough, once I get a proper net connection, probably after im back to kl. I am going to be staying with my sister and commuting all the way to the Uni.. Its pretty far, and I m afraid I might get a lil claustrophobic, since we r going to be sharing a room, n just a room, no hall to prance around.. no kitchen to steal food from.. oh boy.. tough life..

anyway, since its the busy time of the month, weddings almost every weekend, i Have been busy.. going here n there.. And definitely not HIBERNATING like what some people claim.. (haha its good he doenst read my blog..)

I went back to penang..my hometown.. Its hard to describe my emotions, entering penang again.. I was born in penang, but we moved to kUAntan when i was 7 then later to ipoh when i was 16. Nevertheless, we always made a yearly trip back to Penang, visiting relations n friends, and I can tell you this, You will never get bored of penang.. Sitting in the bus, looking down the window, looking at the multi-shades of the sea,, and each and every little hawker stalls, admist big tall condo's and apartments..

n so we went, stayed in the bride's house.. she wasnt there, she was in her parent's house so we had the apartment to ourselves,. They had this pre-wedding night, where it was all dance and fun, which we helped to organize. Basically organising on how to bully the groom. And the groom and the bride loooked so good together. They looked so in love, that you can't help feeling happy for them and probably praying so u get someone like that too..:)) haha..

the wedding was beautiful, the deco was awesome and yes i being me, forgot to bring along a camera.. hey i was rushing and i thought my sis would have brought but she didnt. anyway will try to get the photos from a friend and upload once i have them. Then we went to "Spotlight"'s house and had tea there and we came back home.. ahh... Penang..

now i know what was the emotion that flooded me as i stepped into penang,, it was relief, happiness, joy of just being back HOME..

2008-06-13T19:26:00.005+08:00

a thousand apologies for the late late post..

as you guys know, my 1st sis got married last weekend..The wedding was a beautiful affair.. and Dinner was equally fun and exciting.. cant post up photos from the wedding since the camera battery died and thus have to rely on shots by the cameraman who was hired for the wedding.. so hmm where shall i begin

the couple both met online, through a mutual friend almost 5 years ago, and after some turmoil and trouble, both family accepted their love and they decided to tie the knot.. simple. haha.. the wedding was in Teluk Intan, that is a small town, along the coastal road of Perak, Malaysia.. Better known for its local version of the leaning tower. Havent seen it though.. Anyway, here is the best part.. There were no I repeat not 1 good looking fella in the wedding.. Sad i Know.. Where have they all gone too?? haha.. no biggie..

the sad thing was, the wedding seemed surreal, almost like it was some other person's wedding and not my elder sis, since my second sis, who is her twin, she couldnt watch the wedding. confused?? Right. I have two elder sisters. They are twins. The 1st twin got hitched. The second twin, due to some silly customs of the groom , wasn't allowed to watch the tying the knot (taalli) process less her marriage gets affected or she won't be able to get married and some hocus pocus of that sort... YEAH I KNOW... 21 st century and this?? haihs.. sad.. yeah but so we were sitting at the back, just watching from a far.. Not that we could see the ceremony since the whole place was pretty much crowded.. No.. I was allowed to watch and partake in the ceremony. But it felt really bad to let my sis sit all alone at the back, especially since they grew up together and did everything together and imagine not being able to be there next to your twin..

anyway.. will write more soon.. am going out with mommy.. prob to shop n a movie perhaps.. hang on.. i promise i will post up pics soon.. .. meanwhile.. this r from the ceremonies before the wedding..

aww... sweet huh//

2008-06-04T10:32:00.002+08:00

oh boy....

it has been a helluva busy time.. 1st was langkawi, which was a real blast..
camp was really nice, and fun.. And according to the teens, that was the best camp ever! And i agree! we had games, went on a boat ride, cleaned up islands, hmm.. really fun..
n ooh. there was a ghost outside the center.. No i am not kidding. I t seems, according to the center chairman, there is highly developed spirit living outside the center, near this cabin sorta thing.. And it makes noise.. In a high squeaky voice, but you can actually distinguish some words being said. And it only makes this nose late night or early morning. Initially the sis who heard it 1st thought there were some geese or duck stuck in the cabin, and thus she asked the chairman about the noise and thats when he told its actually a spirit and its attracted to the center because of the high vibration and all.. and the rest of heard it the next day during our post-portem meeting and also in the morning around 5 plus am..

To be frank, I wasnt disturbed or afraid. It didnt seem sinister, or elude the negative vibration n all.. I t just seemed to be some sorta soul stuck in some parallel universe.. anyway,,, the next day we went on a boat ride to clean some islands around langkawi together with workers from Majlis Bandaran Langkawi, and Jabatan Alam Sekitar. We were separated into groups and ventured into diff islands.. The one I went to was, Teluk Cina Mati (The dead chinese Gulf ???) haha funny name right. God knows how it came about. The islands were filthy. Full of rubbish, slippers, bottles, Styrofoams.. sad state of affairs.. journey back from langkawi was a big tiring thing. Traffic was so heavy n it tool almost 8 hours plus from kuala perlis to ipoh.. that almost the longest bus ride ever!

and now back at home, busy wid sis's wedding.. all the ceremonies, and in midst of cleaning up, trying on saree blouses. The only thing is, its a School holiday yet none of my relations are down except for my grandma. Seriously..there's no noise, no happening songs, Its the 1st wedding of the family and yet no1 is here. I really dont understand ahy are ppl so not bothered!! wth ryt.. nvm..

Its just like in mahabharatha, where the pandavas, had themselves n krishna wid them, n the kauravas had a 100 cousins n yet they lost..

2008-05-27T23:14:00.002+08:00

Please bear with me for this two weeks.
Am really busy with wedding preparation.. Just painted sister's room and now painting dad's room.. n soon mine. And will be going to Langkawi on Friday early morning and back only on Sunday. Then the whole week will be full of wedding functions. Its an Indian wedding, too many rituals and functions. And when its all over, I will post and upload photos.. okay?? huggs

p.s: if i can sneak in time ( given the net connection is good, then i will update asap..)

2008-05-25T12:01:00.002+08:00

argh..

Net at home is slow,
the pc is lagging
time crawls..
I cant upload my latest hair pics thanks to this. I don't know whats wrong with this stupid streamyx.

but anyway, (happy happy grins).. I am going to Langkawi next weekend. We are having a camp for the teens and its going to be such fun. I cant wait.

Which reminds me that i should probably start explaining bout my other life.. My super-hero, alter-ego life.. muahaha

nay.. nothing much la.. Am just very much involved with a Ngo, that helps to promote human values and instill good character in them. No, I ain't no perfect person. But i guess we all grow and learn in the same manner right. I cant tell them to do things I don't do or believe in. Or else all I will be is just a hypocrite.

Im pretty busy at home, doing nothing in particular. Breakfast, and clean out the house.. removing old cupboards.. n papers..

Its so easy to keep everything people give, especially for my dad.. He is totally A collector. Whatever we throw, he will be like " Why are throwing this away????? (NAG NAG NAG) and starts all over again with another item in the box.. Haihh

**tension-fying.. my msn keeps getting disconnected.. (curses streamyx..totally useless....pay dunno for wat.. this kinda service they providing..)

2008-05-22T14:52:00.001+08:00

update !!

I re-did my hair.. She toned down my highlights and now it looks just nice..
Yippie..

photos to uploaded later..
Me needs to eat..

2008-05-21T23:25:00.002+08:00

i was so very excited to go to the saloon, and I managed to get an appointment with this saloon in Old Town Ipoh. The hair stylist was recommended by my sisters, so I called him and did the necessary.

The day came, I asked for a highlight.. Didnt really see the colour chart as he said he will make it all very nice and make my curls look more defined yada yada.. But then since he was busy, this other girl came n did my hair. She was nice... Only thing is,, the colour was a little too bright. I look like a brown skunk according my younger sister.. the highlight is too much of a contrast with my dark hair and it makes me look pretty much culture shock.. n whats worst is that my dad, who's super Orthodox is gonna get a massive shock seeing my hair like this!! And he is due back tomorrow..

So what is one to do?? I called the stylist and told him he needed to tone it down for me..Appointment- tomorrow morning, before dad returns home..

haha.. this is what happens when u have an itchy bum (nope.. butt aint itchy.. just a literal translation for local slang..)

this is how it looks like now.. but then.. it doesnt look too bad on photo does it... hmpphh...

2008-05-21T21:13:00.001+08:00

mc donalds recently came up with this new promotion for the big mac...

chanting the big mac chant under 4 mins and guess what u will win???

a rm 10000.. Thats rm10 k!!! Just for chanting a mantra under four minutes.. i mean, how hard can it be???

“Two All-Beef Patties,
Special Sauce, Lettuce,
Cheese, Pickles, Onions
On A Sesame Seed Bun!”

How It Works

Just take a video of yourself doing the Big Mac Chant and you just could be the winner of RM10,000!

Once you video-ed yourself doing the Big Mac Chant, upload it unto www.youtube.com and email the URL and your contact number to our friendly contest master at BigMacChant@nuffnang.com.

Title your email Big Mac Chant! Once our hardworking moderators look through your entry and verify that it does not contain any thing rude/ wrong (you have to get the chant right), we will link it up here and you will be in the running for yes, the BIG prize of RM10,000!

Contest is valid only until May 28 2008.

Judging Criteria

Entries are judged based on Creativity, Relevance Of Content (No paraphrasing the chant!) and Effort (AKA how much you impress us). Popular votes make up 40% of the judging scale, and McDonald’s® own panel of judges make up the other 60%.

How It Works
Just take a video of yourself doing the Big Mac Chant and you just could be the winner of RM10,000!

Once you video-ed yourself doing the Big Mac Chant, upload it unto www.youtube.com and email the URL and your contact number to our friendly contest master at BigMacChant@nuffnang.com.

Title your email Big Mac Chant! Once our hardworking moderators look through your entry and verify that it does not contain any thing rude/ wrong (you have to get the chant right), we will link it up here and you will be in the running for yes, the BIG prize of RM10,000!

Contest is valid only until May 28 2008.
Judging Criteria

Entries are judged based on Creativity, Relevance Of Content (No paraphrasing the chant!) and Effort (AKA how much you impress us). Popular votes make up 40% of the judging scale, and McDonald’s® own panel of judges make up the other 60%.

alas... whats the point when i dont eat beef.. cant they do with the Mc chicken instead??

“Two All-Chicken Patties,
tomato Sauce, Lettuce,
Cheese, pepper, Onions
On A Sesame Seed Bun!”

hehe.. when they have this, then I guess I will join..

2008-05-20T10:40:00.002+08:00

I FELT MY 1ST QUAKE..

hehe.. yep.. my 1st ever earthquake. Was in my sis's apartments, and we sat watching "Dan in real life" (pretty funny in a real life way.. pardon the pun :)) anyway, and the chair started moving and shaking from left to right and and so at first I thought my sis was laughing a lil over excitedly until i realised she wasnt and we were indeed feeling the tremors.. And almost immediately, we took our important stuffs, thank god i just came for a day so i grabbed my bag and we ran down.. And slowly others started coming down too.. We werent sure if there had been another big quake, i mean its still not that long after the quake in china or could this possibly be another Tsunami,, Thoughts were running wild, tension was clear on everyone's face.. luckily, it stopped after a presumably an hour..

news excerpt

PETALING JAYA: Scores of people ran out of their apartments in many parts of the Klang Valley last night when they felt tremors following an earthquake measuring 6.1 on the Richter scale which occurred in northern Sumatra at 10.26pm.
Tremors were also felt in Klang and as far south as Malacca.
An aftershock was also felt at 10.49pm measuring 5.1 on the Richter scale.

it was a good experience tho.. hehe.. :)) so long as no one was hurt..

2008-05-18T22:54:00.002+08:00

ahh.. back to kl tomoro... have to attend a loong meeting for the upcoming camp in langkawi.. then back home on tues and need to get started with everything that has to be done for the wedding..

going to a very tiring month.. but oh boy.. weddings r such fun.. i am excited..:)) big smiles,, n plus am getting my hair done on wed..haha.. big smiles for that too..

im sucha kid :)) oh bt then, it also means i wont be able to update the blog much.. will put up pics soon ryt..

2008-05-17T00:51:00.002+08:00

hmm.. am goin back home in a couple of hours.. then back to kl on monday then back home for good on tues.. its tirng just thinking about it.. hehe.. my hectic lifestyle.. well i do get a well deserved one month break in june n i am going to Thailand..( roomie- update on this!!)... :) sis is performing nex weekend for the citrawarna malaysia at putrajaya.. she is gonna be an elephant.. hehe.. really cute.. with all the ormanents.. they trained under odysseys n there are 200 of them dancing as either elephants or peacocks.. shud be a nice nice entertaining performance.. those who are free, go watch...

venue - putrajaya stadium..
time - evening..
price - free i suppose.. hehe

im hungy... i ate at 6 n havent eaten anything yet.. n this late (00.58 am) nothing is open around here.. lazy to go hunt for food.. gonna just sleep.. :((

will update from homey

2008-05-15T22:32:00.009+08:00

I went out to one utama today.. n there they had this reptilian show.. took some photos but dun think they r clear since didnt have a camera except for my vga camera in the phone..just imagine, having all these snakes (large n small), big huge lizards n small but weird geckos with pink polka dots.. im not kidding.. hopefully the photos r visible..

this is mata-mata.. He likes to stare (since mata in Malay means eyes). Pretty huge and loves snapping up his mouth open. Its unfortunate the pictures are small, or you will be able to see his tiny tiny tongue which is forked of course..

many many colourful, candy-cane, and lolly-lookalike snakes.. Really beautiful right?

a red-knee tarantula

these are the extremely "gelifying" polka lizards.. i have a bigtime lizard phobia so these fellas totally grossed me out..:)
okay.. Birds are birds, mammals.. not reptiles. This fellas were just another attraction. They had a fox, a furry ant-eater lookalike mammal, monkeys - large and also the smallest monkey on earth (was too small to be photographed hahaha)

It isn't two different snakes, its one with two different shades.. nice ryt? notice how the shades changes??
they had this little reptile called "Cuvier Dwarf Caiman" and it was cute.. No, really! It had the head of a sea-horse.. And it posed for a shot..:)

see?? I told you so!

2008-05-13T12:16:00.003+08:00

i removed this post.. if u really wanna read then just buzz me..
i came to a realization that all relationships, parent-child, husband-wife, frens,, nothing is easy..
u can never expect too much from them.. but instead, no matter how things r, u shud just continue to do your duties.. it is after all y u r here.. to fulfill yr role as a child, fren, watever, and to do all that u r supposed to be doing.. yes it gets tiring, life at certain points do get meaningless, just mundane routine, n u may take a breather, stop.. but no matter wat u do, time doesnt stop running, n neither does life.. they keep rolling like credits at the end of a movie.. rolls on n on till its over.. n dats how it is for us too.. the journey continues,, n we choose to spice it up along the way, add a lil joy, small tantrums, smiles, sunshines,, and this spices are our rltnship wid others. some r pungent, some r strong, aromatic, spicy, tangy,, yet everything together creates a beautiful wonderful life...

2008-05-13T12:05:00.002+08:00

I got it!! I am thrilled, excited, pleased, not that confused as to where my future leads..
I have gotten a place to do my Masters in Ukm. Nope not in Boring old Bangi but it's in KL, next to Kuala Lumpur Hospital, around Chowkit..(yep not a nice place too) but what the hell. I got it.!

Its all thanks to Him, the little man up there, and of course to my supervisor n close frens who kept me going and motivated me..(doesnt this already sounds lk an oscar speech? I wan to thank my mom, dad, my producers, and my team in.... who ...) haha.. enuf already..

Its pretty difficult to get through since out of 25+ who interviewed only 12 or something gets accepted. Thus it is quite a big deal. Best part is, after a year of studying here, I can opt to transfer credit to Aussie/Canada.. or anywhere else.. except UK... and that's wat is getting me all hyped up..

hmm.. yippie. haha.. new phase of life.. I wil be a post-grad student.. old..oh no.. coursemates wud be oldies.. haihss.. haha.. thus my need to find more new frens..

2008-05-07T12:23:00.001+08:00

I m emofied..depressed..

too many problems.. too many things to be done..

Would this ever end? As in problems in life.. Will you ever get a time, say a few months, just to breathe again?

I guess not. You just got to learn to live with it, breathe n live your life, regardless of what problems you may face..

I am surrendering.. THOU Shall be Done..

2008-05-06T17:34:00.002+08:00

Its coming to an end.. 3 years of my life, the age where I was supposed to be partying and having fun, out every night were spent here.. in this almost 37 years old, local uni. Its a pretty boring place, that I have got to admit. But I enjoyed my time here, I grew, i loved, cried, laughed, hmm i lived my life.. N i definitely made the right choice. (i think)

It wasnt my first choice or even in my list actually to pursue a degree in psychology. But sometimes, as you will soon learn, you do not have control in many aspects of life. It just goes in its own direction, and whether you like it or not, you are swept away by its strong currents.
What you can do is decide, if you want to allow yourself to drown, or probably swim along. Or you can probably get a float and enjoy the ride.

So well, my ride here is coming to an end. Come tomorrow's last examinations, and a thesis that is due next friday, it will all be over. And a new phase of life begins.

But before it does, surely we need to party, no? I really think i need to unwind. Plus with the upcoming wedding of my 1st sis, there's just so much to do:

a) paint her room
b)paint my room
c) prepare door gift (500 pax)
d) prepare table setting (center piece) for 50 tables min
e) dye/cut/chop/bald my hair/head
f) look good for the wedding..

haha.. but sadly i really don't think I will be able to "cuci-mata" or hmm check out good lookin guys at the wedding.. my sis n her hubby to be,.. i really doubt they would invited any cute ones.. hmmm..but nevertheless, i need to look good. its the first wedding of the family!!

though my future seems really really foggy right now, I am leaving it all to the one above.. If i do not get accepted to do masters anywhere for now, i shall travel a bit..:) Asia,, here I come..:)

2008-05-03T11:46:00.002+08:00

Ever noticed on how in every chick lit the main character has a gay best friend? or a couple of trustable girl friends, or a male best friend who someone or rather in the near future gets dumped by his long time love and decides that the main character is whom he loves.
And the story either ends up with them falling in love since they knew each other from the days they were in their diapers and roaming around gardens or the girl actually has her eyes for another guy, and the best friend gets jealous and stops talking to her for a period of time but soon realises his mistakes and blesses their relationship.

ahhh.. But its the gay best friend I am interested in. Almost all of the books i have read (And i read a lot!! n really fast too) these girls would be working in a small company with mean bosses, bitchy colleques or ratty cleaners or some silly things! haha.. And they surely wud have a gay friend. NONO i am not againts them. I think its somethin that you cant help thus we just need to accept the fact ryt..

the stories always highlight how immaculately dressed up (metrosexual) these guys r, and how hawt they are (drool-able) and they are always there when you need a boost of confidence and moral support. They probable be honest and blunt, never the ones to sugar coat the truth.. but why o why cant i find a gay best fren here. I probably shud go hunt. Me thinks my life wud definately be better with a gay best fren on tow.. hhaha.. so since i could find a gay guy, i made my straight male fren pretend to be gay for me.. hahahh.. we sat and gossiped about passerbys. (no its not a good thing to do, but surely some ppl r worth commenting, u think?) :) he carried my bag for me.. n even offered a footrub (no strings attached, hey he's gay wat.. n im not a guy so im safe) when my feet got cramped up thanks to walking around for hours.. c?? but no i declined the footrub haha euuww.. plz!

n but i still think i need to find a true, honest gay male fren..

anyone would like to fill up this post? its just a desperate cry for a best fren.. how hard can it be?? we get to go shopping, gossip, drown ourselves in cheap champagne,, okok expensive wine if u insist, and we get to oogle at hot guys together.. im dead serious..

now contact me if u r gay.. i mean gay.. not transexual or transgender or anything.. plain old macho metrosexual guys who dress up in guys cloth n like guys..

hahaha..clear enuf?? its time i need my happy ending

2008-05-01T13:30:00.003+08:00

its been 17 years since his demise.. my grandpa.. my one true fan, friend, everything..
I would not be boasting if I said I was his favourite. It is true I was. He died in a "hit-and-run" accident on may 1st 1991. When I was but 7, still a young kid trying to grasp the world my little chubby hands.

unconditional love. That would explain everything. I do not know why I was special, probably just a little bit more than my other cousins and siblings. Probable because I was the youngest around. He was the one who taught me to speak, taught me English. And I will blame him for my inability to speak tamil. haha. True. I do remember an incident when I was roughly 5 or 6 and my elder sisters were speaking to me Tamil and were trying to teach the language, Grandpa heard what was going on and he kinda reprimanded them and told them to never speak to me in Tamil again. ahaha... but yeah.. i do speak tamil now.. just not as fluent..

He loved reading. He read novels, encyclopedias, whatever reading materials he could find, and then would gather us around and tell us stories. Stories on animals, stories on the Big Bear (zodiac,star) .. He was jovial, full of fun and life. Everyday before I started kindergarden, he would bring me along to his daily coffee session with his buddies.. There I would be walking around Penang town, my little hand in His, or perhaps at times when my legs were tired, he would have carried me. I don't know. I don't remember much. But I do remember sitting on stacked up chairs eating ice cream while they drank coffee in sturdy china worn by age and time just like them. Every wrinkle tells a story of a lifetime. He would then pour a bit of coffee in the saucer for me drink.. Just because its hot.

And when I started Kindergarden, he would walk me to school every morning and fetch me in the afternoon, where we would stopby hawker stalls and grab fruits and snacks on our way back. I know if he was still alive now, he would have been proud of us all, proud of his children, and would have been more than happy to let me join his coffee sessions in old chinese coffee shops, with us sharing stories, now with me to tell him my life.

Thank you tata, for always loving me. May your soul rest in peace.

2008-04-30T17:29:00.001+08:00

2008-04-30T16:55:00.002+08:00

i have got to admit.. my life so far is just like living under a coconut shell. As it is said in the Malay proverb "Katak di bawah tempurung" which means frog under a coconut shell? :)

By all means let me explain. I just haven't traveled much. Haven't even been to Singapore! How wonderful is that? I have traveled (or basically traveled pass) most of the states in Malaysia but havent really stopped and ventured into these places. I haven't gone to all crooks and alleys of my own hometown which by the way is Penang + Kuantan + Ipoh..

penang = beautiful, not clean but it is unique thanks to the old remaining colonial buildings plus an overflux of new condos and sky scraping towers. walking around town, you will be able to see starbucks next to an old chinese coffee shop, with coffee served with canned milk and in old china..
i think it is one of the nicest states in Malaysia..

Kuantan- has beautiful beaches. dot.

ipoh- gotta say its pretty boring. far away from beaches or seas. no sea-breeze :( no nice hang out place except for boring old Jusco.. but most of my current frens r from Ipoh.. n for that it is in a small nook of my heart..:)

2008-04-26T14:07:00.002+08:00

wahhhhhhhh....:(((((

its saturday..n im holed up in uni..alone.. watching anime..hehe
anyone kind hearted ,

~~good looking, hawt, sexy, rich,~~ nice person wanna take me out ???

(im broke too)...!!

2008-04-25T21:17:00.004+08:00

a conversation i had yesterday with roachie

me : guys shouldnt have long hair
roach: y not. long hair sexy wat. especially if its straightened
me: eee... no no.. guys only look nice with short hair
roach: not fair ryt.
me: guys can keep long hair with a few rules..
rule 1: if yr an artist
rule 2: if yr a musically inclined person
rule 3: if u play any instruments that requires you to bob your head up n down
rule 4: if yr a priest...

kakakakakka..
indian priest (sorry to all priests out there).. they have this tuft of hair at the back of their head.. but then some of them actually have quite a

lot

er long hair.. and it will be in a bun..

and i seriously think its really funny.. almost samurai like,, only they aren't as macho..

u decide..

2008-04-25T21:14:00.002+08:00

lie lie lie
if the clouds were to fall apart and its all your fault,
you would just close your eyes,
pretending it is not happening
and probably blame me for it

yet again.. and again..

blaming me
for making the world go round and round..

if I am the reason you aren't behaving right,
why cant i be the reason behind all smiles and living things

2008-04-25T20:09:00.002+08:00

its been quite a difficult year.. but as it always go, what doesnt kill you makes you stronger. But then again, there is still a long way to go before the year ends.. that said, I guess I can brave my heart and hope for more experiences to learn from and ponder..

my future is uncertain.. I attended an interview yesterday with UKM KL for masters of clinical psychology.. The campus is in KL, precisely next to Hospital Kuala Lumpur (sorry peeps, no photos). Pretty isolated, and empty. Am unsure if thats how it is or probably due to exam season. Dad really wants me to continue my Masters there, but what I want is to go overseas. Probably UK or anywhere really. Get a breath of fresh air. Experience new life, new experiences, new everything.

No im not running away. or maybe i am.. I guess you just get to start afresh, paint a new face, new facade of yourself,, get new friends, and a whole new life.. It would be nice to loosen up, without people having too much of expectations on you to behave all prim and proper. It isnt so much of what others expect of you than what you expect for yourself..

But then again, no matter what i still would like to go off, travel a bit, meet new people and breathe..

where shall i go...

1st option : Masters in UK - RM 80000
2nd option: masters in Canada - cheaper but intake is on sept 09.. (wat am i to do for a year)
3rd option: mAsters in Ukm - 1st year here n 2nd year elsewhere.. credit transfer... (pretty good option ryt?)
4th option: find a rich bugger n get married to him...

hmm 4th option is the most viable.. i should find a rich old fart, marry him.. scrap off all his cash (hard-earned or otherwise) n travel n do as i wish.. :)

p.s: any old or er young rich ones lookin for a wife?? :)

2008-04-06T00:22:00.003+08:00

its been a long time since i posted a blog here.. minus the one i wrote a few weeks ago regarding someone which turned out to be a false alarm..
i need a camera.. my blog is too boring.. i love photos.. quirky photos, odd shots.. not gothic or anything of that sort, but just timeless beauty, of perhaps a red post box in the middle of the town square, a lil girl playing in a puddle,.. a picture is always worth a thousand words.. the ability to capture time in essence.. so..till i get a camera (no i am not going to abandon my blog) i am going to just get photos that depict whatever i am talking about from the net..

i love photography, and art - especially interior & fashion.. i am not sure when this started but i do know since i was a teen i was sketching, both forms, and loved to dream of how i should decorate my house... i love the deco featured here in An Indian Summer , aphrochic, howaboutorange and so many more.. needless to say the beauty of my home is of utmost importance to me.. n i keep asking myself, y am i studying psychology instead of design.. its pretty frustrating seriously,, especially when i start thinking of a new design, i can hardly get a wink. i will be tossing and turning, thinking of the colour pallete and scheme and items and everything!

i am helping mom decorate the house for sis's engagement party n also for the wedding in june.. i shall upload photos of it.. we recently painted the feature wall orange, bright warm hue, ethnicy i must say... everything is fine, and suitable except for the fact that dad loves to hang lots of photos all around the house.. it would actually be fine if not for the different types of frames and colour... so it is just a lil messy and over loaded.. hmmm... for now,, be patient and make do with this photos of local food:)
1st) mushroom soup
2nd n 3rd) thai food from Amarin Thai in Midvalley.. their food is simply superb... mouthwatering-ly delicious...

2007-12-28T12:06:00.000+08:00

ahh.. The New Year.. time for celebration.. Party..Fun.. lots of unfulfilled resolutions..n a whole new year to start over again..
2007.. was one hell of a year.. learned a lot..lost a lot too.. but do u ever realise that the time actually flies faster as you grow older? 2007 flew off like a blackbird..my life in uni as an undergraduate has been marked.. just a semester to go, and i will have in my hand my scroll..
am really keeping my fingers crossed to get accepted to do my postgrad in UK.. Cant wait to experience the whole new world n life out there. start afresh, you know.. let go of all the past negativeness and shitty memories.. my results wasn't too good tho, it dropped marginally quite a bit.. but as it goes, i do have a semester left to prove myself. Am only taking 2 subjects and I have my thesis to work on.. Do pray for me.. Pray that i'll get accepted into the Unis' i applied to asap.. I will be getting my confirmation right about april.. till then.. whoo hoo.. i shall just eat, drink , and be merry..

HAPPY NEW YEAR ALL!!

2007-12-07T12:52:00.000+08:00

I MET WITH AN ACCIDENT.. two days back.. now..saying that makes it sound as if I met someone named "accident".. "er.. Hello.. I am Accident.. you can call me Mr.AC.. hehee.. okok.. lame..

but hell yeah.. i was INVOLVED( there.. that a better word :))two days ago.. I am a courteous safe ________ (insert any good qualities here) driver.. Been driving for 6 years, and nope not an accident what-so-ever-.. nope.. no summons too though that is because i pull my student-id-trick and puppy dog eyes to get me out of it..

anywayy... i was driving behind this Perdana and was just going in a SLOW space (READ: 30-40 KM/HOUR) AND "WHAM$%^^^" and i bang into the perdana because that nut had the wonderful ability not to turn his signals on to do a side parking.. It happened in a split-second.. I just reached down to take my purse and before i know i had a gaggle of geese in my car screaming their head off ( Venisri and Lehashene)!! Talk bout alarm!.. good one eh..

So I got down from the car and went to check the damage.. A broken Numberplate... and a few minor minor scratches.. n er.. the Perdana,, was quite damaged.. the bumper was dented.. N out from the car came this..

No i am not being a mean inconsiderate person... i SWEAR he looked like this,,, (my sis can vouch for me) n no.. he wasn't in polka dots.. (wud have been a good laugh tho..)

He took out his camera... started taking photos... of the both the cars.. Dint want to settle and didn;t bother moving his car to side though he was causing a massive traffic.. Nope.. Mr.Pig wasn't bothered.. Finally, I just told him, Im loding a report.. so toodles.. and drove away...

and came back home to get an earful of ramblings and cackles from both mom and dad bout driving too close to the front car n yada yada... Went to the police station today and got a summon for RM 300... N I was told, the guy is going to claim insurance for more than a RM1000 for the repair of his pig-wagon...

hehe.. I am mean..who cares.. he was being sucha "PAIN" as my sis says it oh-so-well.. He didnt bother to talk or discuss/.. Nothing.. n Yeah.. I learnt my lesson well...

"NEVER TO TRAIL TOO CLOSE TO A PIG!"

2007-11-28T11:42:00.000+08:00

its been long.. really long since i last updated my blog.. had been busy, well final year, so should not be expecting any less right?? tonnes of assignments and projects to do, and now finally i'm back home for a month of break..
parents both would be leaving to India on the 8th and back only on the 19th i think.. not too sure, thus I ahve got to stay back at home and baby sit my younger sis and retarded uncle.. Grandma would be in aunty's house. Wonder what i am goign to do this next one month. I am not the kind person who can just sit and chill doing nothing but sleep and eat for a month. Heck I cant even last a week!! Wouldnt be too free though. I have to start on my experiment for finals.. Have to stat looking for suitable victims.. no no.. subjects to conduct my experiment on.,
going to KL in a while.. got to go c my supervisor, get the test kits and then help out with the teen youths..

oh boy.. wish i was going to India again.. truly jealous!!

2007-07-23T13:05:00.000+08:00

>Subject: Fwd: Amazing.. Unusual Facts>Hehe...read this before, but it's still funny the second time round.

i) If you yelled for>8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy>to heat one cup of coffee.>
(Hardly seems worth it.)>>>

If you farted consistently for 6 years and 9 months, enough gas is produced>to create the energy of an atomic bomb.>
(Now that's more like it!)>>>

The human heart creates>enough pressure when it pumps out to the body to squirt blood 30 feet.>>(O.M.G.!)>>>

A pig's orgasm lasts 30 minutes.>>
(In my next life, I want to be a pig.)>>>>

A cockroach will live nine days without its head before it starves to >death.>
(Creepy.)>(I'm still not over the pig.)>>>>

Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories a hour>
(Don't try this at home,>maybe at work)>>>

The male praying mantis cannot copulate while its head is attached to its>body. The female initiates sex by ripping the male's head off.>
(Honey, I'm home. What the...?!)>>>>

The flea can jump>350 times its body length. It's like a human jumping the length of a >football>field.>
(30 minutes..lucky pig! Can you imagine?)>>

The catfish has over 27,000 taste buds.>>
(What could be so>tasty on the bottom of a pond?)>>>>

Some lions mate over 50>times a day.>
(I still want to be a pig in my next life...quality over quantity)>>>>

Butterflies taste>with their feet.>>
(Something I always wanted to know.)>>

The strongest muscle in the body is the tongue.
(Hmmmmmm......)>>>

Right-handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left-handed>people.>
(If you're ambidextrous, do you split the difference?)>>>

Elephants are the only animals that cannot jump.>>
(Okay, so that would be a good thing)>>>

A cat's urine glows under a black light.>>
(I wonder who was paid to>figure that out?)>>>

An ostrich's eye is>bigger than its brain.>>
(>I know some people like that.)>>>

Starfish have no brains>>
(I know some people like that too.)>>>

Polar bears are left-handed.>>
(If they switch, they'll>live a lot longer)>>>

Humans and dolphins are>the only species that have sex for pleasure.>
(What about that pig??)>>>>

(and God loves that PIG)

2007-07-23T12:47:00.000+08:00

10 Best Answering Machine Messages*

10. My wife and I can't come to thephone right now, but if you'll leaveyour name and number, we'll get back toyou as soon as we're finished.

9 . Hello, you are talking to amachine.I am capable of receiving messages. Myowners do not need siding, windows or atub, and their carpets are clean. Theygive to charity at the office and don'tneed their picture taken. If you'restill with me, leave your name and homephone number and they will get back toyou.

8 . This is not an answering machine -this is a telepathic thought-recordingdevice. After the tone, think aboutyourname, your number, and your reason forcalling.... and I'll think aboutreturning your call.

7 . Hi! John's answering machine isbroken. This is his refrigerator.Pleasespeak very slowly, and I'll stick yourmessage to myself with one of thesemagnets.

6 . Hi. This is John: If you are thephone company, I already sent themoney.If you are my parents, please sendmoney. If you are my bank, you didn'tlend me enough money. If you are myfriends, you owe me money. If you are a female, don't worry, I have LOTS ofmoney.

5 . A is for academics, B is for beer.One of those reasons is why we're nothere. So, leave a message.

4 . Hello! If you leave a message, I'llcall you soon. If you leave a"sexy"message, I'll call sooner.

3 . Hi. Now YOU say something.

2 . Hi. I'm probably home, I'm justavoiding someone I don't like. Leave mea message, and if I don't call back,it's you.

1 . Hello, you've reached Jim andSonya.We can't pick up the phone right now,because we're doing something we reallyenjoy. Sonya likes doing it up anddown,and I like doing it left to right...real slowly. So leave a message, andwhen we're done brushing our teeth,we'll call you back.

2007-07-21T15:45:00.000+08:00

orange!!

colours do a lot to change da way u feel.. maybe dis is wat i should do my thesis on..(goes on9 straight away to do sum research on it... results: nothing dat suitable)
so niway,, was a bit confused bout the whole thing, bout my course and general direction in life and i realised that i took the road not taken as by the poet Robert Frost.. As all my life, i wanted to do medicine and then i got hurled into a local uni to do psychology..i am doin well but i just realised mayb i wasnt cut out for it as i lacked the passion and had no idea wat am i gonna work as.. i just got very nervous as i am da kind of person who needs to control my variables(life on the whole) and not knowing my future sounded taunted me..
but i then i knoe, "god would never give me anything i cant handle" so i knoe i'll be alryt.. its ok to do things u have no particular liking for.. the key to it is not to enjoy doing wat u like but to like wat u do not enjoy"
green..-liquids fav colour.. she has a penchant for all things green.. i love me frens.. they r such sweethearts n have always been there for me wen i truly need them or just to brighten up my day..
i cant believe i am already finishin up my degree, it seems lk just yest wen i entered.. now gotta focus on thesis, then grad and go off to do masters overseas.. prob UK or aust...it all depends on if i wud be able to get a scholarship and got-willing i will.. thanx for all u have given me lord, my frens, family, my good grades and the da unsightly ones to make me work harder, and for my whole life in general...

p.s: sha, quote "They show me the greatness of Christianity and Hinduism while i show them nothing because i'm not Islamic enough. *shaking head* sigh.." it had me rolling on the floor laughing.. u r good the way u r.. we do not have the ability to change our past, but we do have wat it takes to modify and alter da future to suit how u r... hugs

2007-07-03T23:30:00.000+08:00

i had enuf of me feelin sorry for myself.. so.. no more complains d..
pretty happy at home.. ermm can i just complain for da last time... ipoh is tooooo hawttt... i so cant stand da heat..burning,.. melting.. have to on da a/c at nyt n wen i take my nap in da afternoon, i wake up drenched in sweat.. hahaha.. terrible.. such a thing called global warming.. sobs
so thus here i am back in my home.. eatin all da time,,watchin all da tv i wan (cut dat out,, only wen dad is not around!! he hogs da tv!! no fair!) n doin absolutely nothing.. meoow.. feelin as lazy as fellow felines..

n ooh.. it feels lk i just entered uni n am alredy entering my final year nex year ... n by nex april i wud alredi be done wid my degree!!! tho i am doin a course i didnt even choose,, i m pretty happy here.. i got a selected group of close frens,, real sweethearts they r... n met sum real nice ppl.. can out any time..go shop anytime.. not necessarily dat i have cash.. but nevertheless knowing there r shoppin malls nearby is a soothing thing for my deprived soul.. got more involved spiritually n truly learnt alot.. i was angry a lot be4,, but now, have learnt to let go.. everything happens for a reason,, n if i were to go tru da same kind of probs agains, i knoe i can deal wid it better second time around.. guess, wid time, u do learn after all..

my sis gettin married soon!!!!! gosh.. dats soon.. i mean we were just kids fooling around wid barbie dolls n legos.. n now,, she's gonna get hitched in lk 2 years n she wud have her own tiny tots.. goodness, time do flies.. n it flies faster as u get older..

i love my life.. n all da precios ppl who colour it.. u knoe who u r.. if i had failed to let u knoe how much u mean to me,, here is a shout out " i love u peepz.. thanx for always being there for me..lotsa love n huggiess..

roomie u gotta a post on me?? aww babe,, im touched.. totally.. i heart u!! <3 (",)

2007-06-28T21:39:00.000+08:00

lets c.. in less than 12 hours i got to face my final paper as a 2nd year student.. n its so totally irrelevant to my course **psychology.. n i am taking dis Malay Linguistic paper.. whereby i gotta learn stuffs on phonetic, phonology, morphology semantic, n yada yada..so, i have covered everything except for both phonetic n phonology which i wud resume after takin ma shower.. at 10 pm.. haha.. i just came back froma 2 day stay in my aunts place down in cheras, taman connaught.. ermm,, people there r very colourful(my not so subtle hints) haha.. yeah.. well all i did was eat n eat n eat.. n watch lotsa tv. E!! dats all i was watching..but then.. nay i dun give 2 s*&ts about Paris H.'s release.. wth.. none of my probs.. dis ppl go around searchin for attention n da media frenzy hollywood suppliesit to 'em on a golden platter..hmm back to my life.. argh.. gotta pack n cover two chapters in 8 hours plus get my beauty sleep (JOKE)! still aint sure where to pack.. tot of goin back tomoro wid dnesh in the bus, then dad dropped the bomb by sayin he myt also be takin a bus back to ipoh from pudu.. so im lk.. erm.. i dnno wat to do..oooh.. im so deprived of sand, sea n sun..okay..cut out the last.. im just deprived off sand n sea.. n u cud add starbucks.. my recent personal economy crises had left me bare to the bones.. ermm scrape the bones.. bare to my dnas.. seriously uper broke.. i got no money.. n yeah.. i wanna go india again!! am sucha laughin stock.. but..i knoe help wud come.. oh btw read sumwhere that there is this paypal tingy specially for bloggers whreby other bloggers *donate* some petty cash to u.. i shud get one of those.. then dis ppl lk roomie n sha n al cud send me some money n haha. i rule da world.. alryts.. i better get my butt back to studyin n try to pack up b4 gettin my head lashed off by my dad for not coming back A.S.A.P wen da exams were over!! gosh.. uc.. i need a breakk... bring me to da sea.. n lie there..sippin coconut water.. ohh... niceee...(forget bout the part where ur towel gets too wet to absorb more water.. n the part where ur hair dries up n gets all weird on u,,n skin peeling..) haha.. but i love da water... wish i cud surf!! ooh yeah.. kawabanga!! aloha hawaii.. here i come.. but then again.. closest pitstop is just pangkor.. but no. i wanna go TIOMAN...
disclaimer : ppl,(elaine,vinod, gillian, jon, b,.. i didnt say I WANT TO GO TO pangkor.. u guys wanted,, so i explained..all i was is just an island in EAST COAST..read : TIOMAN,PERHENTIAN,REDANG,KAPAS, etc) thanx ppl..heheh

2007-04-13T16:31:00.001+08:00

im bleedin on the inside...
keep having to go tru one pain to another..
when wud da day break
been a long nyt..
too long since i smiled
too long since i tasted joy
too long since i felt love
the true ones,,
world seems to filled wid liars
everyword they say,,
plain meaningless life..

y do i have to keep on lk dis,
y do u keep hurting me dis way
y... i knoe i just wud neva learn y

2007-04-07T23:13:00.000+08:00

its been long... how long d r.. been quite da busy.. actually not really. just been truly lazy. while my frens r slockin away wid their numerous assignments al i do is watch movie n chill starin at da four walls in the room n yet manage to finish up half my money by da 1st week of the month! wat a state i am.. oh gosh.. i was down wid food poisonin dat left me almost half dead.. for lk 4 days?? vomiting none stop on mon nyt.. n tues n wed super weak.. then thurs vomited again.. wen to clinic wen over to sis place.. n decided to go back ipoh.. n wen back.. n guess wat, i got allergic to da anti-vomiting med n my tongue got numb.. had to bit it da whole journey so it didnt lk twist da wrong way. freaky shit!! so niway.. got just my spanish assignment to do.. life been ok apart from dat sudden death twist... i so wanna go holiday.. i actually told mommy n she was lk where? so i said da gurls wanna go perhentian.. haha tho its all my plan.. but da gurls r up to it.. so she was lk, u gonna go wen? i said mayb 3rd sem time.. but how to go.. appa wun let.. then she: u gonna go without tellin appa.. me: tell u enuf la!! she remained silent n dad came back.. so i think its a green light!! haha.. least im tellin one parent..better than not telin both lk wat i did wen we wen pangkor!! hahaha... peace out then

2007-02-23T10:32:00.000+08:00

holiday!!

its has cum to an end! sad sad.. been a fruitful one nevertheless.. been lazyin around maximum,, out to a high school reunion, n i have never even touched my books, wen i do have 2 major papers on monday!! hehe..(panic sticks a lil too late).. well goin back kl today n hopefully there wun b a massive traffic today!!

wen to sunway wid a bunch of close frens.. no photos,, didnt bring back my cam.. was such fun.. especially bullyin a certain person..haha.. n was being thrown into da water a lil too many times..

met up wid ameeta n doedoe afta a long time.. am's goin back to aus today(fri) n doe is back to kl.. u two mean alot to me.. hugs.. it was nice meetin up afta so long!!

" hope- is faith holding out its hand in the dark" - George Lles

2007-02-18T23:01:00.000+08:00

dis was a very cool pic.. being a big huge fan of sponge bob and all...

2007-02-18T22:19:00.000+08:00

i really envy those ppl who seem to have their lives together.. knowin wat they r doin, n doin it wid a smile on their face.. n al i do is, fret n fret.. haha.. but niway, life has been good. imgettin busy wid studyin n doin my assignments but sum how,, havent really got da bug yet!! so it shall wait..

oh yeah,, been gettin myself broke by buyin utterly unnecessary but nevertheless wonderful -items-dat-put a smile on my face!!

we r still putting our Perhentian trip on hold..mainly since its still raining , n da monsoon just flooded a few states in m'sia.. so, we just gotta wait till da sun is massively in his summer mood to hit da water.. just thinkin bout sand-sea-and-sun
makes me feel all so warm n tingly..

photosss!!

2007-02-15T19:52:00.000+08:00

2007!!!

haha..well roomie n sukhbir.. dis one is u ppl out there,, buggin my butt to start da blogback again afta a long long break...

cant even remember wen was da last time i blogged, n boy havent i grown.. ermm fatter n yep,, my experiences..

india was a perfect wonderful trip.. words cant even begin to describe the amount of things i went tru, n grown to understand.. lofe aint ever easy, but it wud alwis give u watever u need at da ryt time..

sukhbir,,, n al da others,, i 'll write a separate blog on da india trip.. dis is just a starter.. gotta run.. still no lousy internet in ukm!! arghh feel lk tearing off my hair ...its pretty frustatin.. they havent even repaired watever datgot spoiled fromlast sem,!! imagine.. haishs.. so niway, been depending on cc n also home to cum on9..

so till da nex time.. cya.. ohhh.. happy chinese new year... god bles..

2006-11-10T12:01:00.000+08:00

life oh beautiful life..
it is wen it is the darkest,
u get to c the silvery lightning
it is wen it is silent,
u hear the soft whisperin of the leaves,
it is wen it is cold,,
u long for the warmth of laughter and love,
it is wen u r sad,
u realise the magnitude of frenship n care...
it is wen tots of death comes,
u become aware of life and its beholdings
- 1.20 pm 10thnov 06

2006-11-08T15:41:00.000+08:00

i realised most my blogs r of complain.. im sucha whiny pot.. i so wanna change but hmm
i dunno. i dun think i am.. ppl who dun really knoe me, prob assume im all stck up.. strong?? mayb coz i dun realy tell my personal stuffs to anyone except to those im really close to.. n even if im down or sad, i wud just put up another mask n act like nothing is wrong.. n even now.. everything is wrong.. am at the lowest point.. but i gotta put up a happy face n act lk nothing wrong.. al i wan is a glimpse of hope to tell me, i can n i must carry on no matter wat happens..n all i c is dat im totally way of coz.. n instead of rays of light i get lightings n thunderbolts.. but hey i love'em.. is dat a sign things wud be happy for me again?? i wonder.. n i shall not live in doubts.. happy times r cumin... yeah yeah...
sighs.. negativeness take da better control of me.. where r u niway... do u even exist or do i have to make do wid anyone dat cums along..?? i scan the multiple acne-scarred face... findin for the tweak of light... or possible the wordings on ur forehead sayin..'hey, look no more.. its me" but nay... 21 years.. unsuccessfull... mayb better luck nex year.. or i shud move.. move uni.. move country... try diff things.. keep u off my mind a while n poof u wud appear.. but i sure hope u wud have it printed on ur head or elsewhere** winks.. it wud be difficult to trust a bare stranger afta gropin my way in a dark spindly tunnel wudnt it...
life oh life.. u r a wonder.. u make me wonder ... but wifout sadness, we wun get happiness , wud we? no.. thus,, let me brace myself, n push myself harder.. to reach points i haven;t ventured into.. to go where i havent dreamt off b4,, to smile n look and breathe in the wonder of the warm sun n misty drizzles..

2006-10-29T12:36:00.000+08:00

it has been ages.. hasnt it.. n i been through so much just in dis small gap. moments of elation, sickness, thoughts of death, scared, happiness n everything. im back in my hometownfor a week of study break. but havent touched a single page .. diwali was fun.. we celebrated at home.. had many frens over.. it was good to catch up on old times.. yakkin away n gossiping. hehe.. like wat we alwiz do.. then wen down to penang.. journey was tiring.. 4 of us the back of CR-V and my uncle at the back in the bonnet) haha.. not really a bonnet.. its actually a sitting space.. so we
wen around to relations houses.. played massive firecrackers where by sum of it turned almost fatal.. hehe. scary.. the "rocket" was supposed to head up to the sky but wat happened was it hit the pavement n came turnin back to where we where standiing.. but was fun/

had two family gatherings.. uncles got massively drunk.. hehe fun to watch// they were talkin crap n dancing like mad... n as usual my dad hd to force us to dance.. euw..i mean its ok if u dance in the club or wid ur frens.. but dis wid sum drunkard uncles n all the orthodoxed aunties n all watching.. i mean if u dance u r gonna get a bad name as this ppl wud be like" look at her,, she dancing like she has alwiz been dancing in clubs.. dis is wat they wud be probably doin in kl" blabla shit.. n if uu dun dance,, there cums ur dad shouting n forcing u to dance... haihs.. so niway.. my sisters wen on n danced.. me n younger sis didnt really bother..

not much of "angpow" too.. i mean i tot i cud get alike at least 100 but wherela.. most of them didnt even give.. sadness.. ehe.. so niway dad is off to scotland... stopping a day in london,, touring then of the abedin or watever .. hehe.. no idea.. wud be back in a week... i asked my dad to get me a :-

pair of sportshoes- preferabbly adidas but forgot to tel him the size
watch
perfume
hmm sum other things la. cant member also..
but as i knoe for sure.. dad isnt gonna bring back anything like dis. haha.. i wud prob get a t-shirt or so.. eheh. but fingers crossed

or and... worst time of life.. 2nd worst la.. since i was havin severe diarrhea all the time, dad took to me to the doctor.. n so i wen.. then i was to have a scopy and endoscopy.. which means i wud have mini cams entered in me.. bothways...( gasp) to check the condtion of my stomach and also my colon n intestines.. so i was not allowed to eat for almost 15 hours.. n was asked to take dis sodium drink whihc clean my bowel n i wud have diarhhea ... i started vomitting afta dat.. diarrhea oni started later n didnt stop even wen i wen for the scope.. but since my stomach was empty.. nothing much came.. so niway da dr said ihave mild gastric.. n for the whole day yest ( wen for the scope in the morning) i cud eat or even drink water.. thanx to the anaesthetic.. im feelin much better today.. managed to eat a good breakfats.. my fav kind - toast wid butter, half boiled egg n nescafe.. yeah... hopefully im fine by tomoro as i shud really be heading back kl to start studyin.. exams startin in a weeks time.. well.. dats about it then... pic of diwali.. both in my house n in penang.

2006-10-12T12:21:00.000+08:00

PASTA BOLOGNESE... SPECIALLY BY ME.

RECIPE:-

Ingredients..

a packet of pasta
2 onions-diced
2 fat tomatoes-diced
2 garlic cloves -smashed
vege- bell pepper, couliflower, mixed vege, baby corn, snow peas, any vege that u think is suitable
2 red chillies
salt+sugar+pepper- to taste,(may add a bit of cinnamon powder)
a can of tomato puree

methods.,

1. fry the onions n garlic in a pan wid 2 tablespoon of oil/butter
2. add the vegetables n stir, meanwhile boil the pasta shells in another container wid a bit of salt and oil
3. add in the tomato puree and the seasoning
4. add in a cup of water and let it boil for a minute.
5. your gravy is cooked.. serve it on the pasta and add cheese-parmesan wud the best though ur normal cheesedale would do

hehe.. have fun cookin..

2006-10-12T11:15:00.000+08:00

been quite sum time since i actually wrote sumthing other than just copyin n pasting cute excerps.. niways.... been busy wid assignments(which i still havent't finished) and also busy lazying around.. iskk..malaysia-kl-UKM is very hazy.. makes my throat dry.. been a bit depressed lately.. not knowing da reason y.. life is goin on. birthday was ok..celebrated in Ipoh...wid family.. daddy wasnt around.. we share the same birthday.. 8th oct..
so they got me a cake n then smeared me.. hehe.. even my mom.. heck she started it..list of birthday presents-

dad n mom- rm100..( sad.. i wan more cash!)
sis1- rm200 voucher from clinique?? haha.. ok- dis is to go make myself up n take sum photo.. i tot can buy things.. but nvm nvm
sis2-lamp.. but said wanna get me beter things soon- may i ask for cash.. hehe
babysis-hair clip.. quite the nice..
dnesh-punjabi suit... a baby blue that is now too tight for me!!

yes .. daddy bought me a rice cooker.. hehe i sound so much like a daddy's girl.. rich pampered.. i wish da reality was as painted just as blue. but am not rich..not pampered.. am independent.. just cared n loved.. really getting homesick// wish my parents were in kl.. so i can c them whenever i wan.. but unfortunately,,,they r in Ipoh. n daddy.. works in the oilrigs far away...

yeahh.. diwali cumin.. got 2 punjabi suits.. a white n another red .. broke man..

2006-10-12T11:11:00.000+08:00

The following are all replies that Dallas Texas women have written on Child Support Agency forms in the section for listing "father's details". Or putting it another way... Who's yo Daddy? These are genuine excerpts from the forms. Be sure to check out number 11. It takes 1st prize, and number 3 is runner up.

1. Regarding, the identity of the father of my twins, child A was fathered by Jim Munson. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of child B, but I believe that he was conceived on the same night.
2. I am unsure, as to the identity of the father of my child as I was being sick out of a window when taken unexpectedly from behind. I can provide you with a list of names of men that I think were at the party if this helps.
3. I do not know the name of the father of my little girl. She was conceived at a party at 3600 Grand Avenue where I had unprotected sex with a man I met that night. I do remember that the sex was so good that I fainted. If you do manage to track down the father, can you send me his phone number? Thanks.
4. I don't know the identity of the father of my daughter. He drives a BMW that now has a hole made by my stiletto in one of the door panels. Perhaps you can contact BMW service stations in this area and see if he's had it replaced.
5. I have never had sex with a man. I am still a Virginian. I am awaiting a letter from the Pope confirming that my son's conception was ejaculate and that he is the Saver risen again.
6. I cannot tell you the name of child A's dad as he informs me that to do so would blow his cover and that would have cataclysmic implications for the economy. I am torn between doing right by you and right by the country. Please advise.
7. I do not know who the father of my child was as all blacks look the same to me.
8. Peter Smith Is the father of child A. If you do catch up with him, can you ask him what he did with my AC/DC CDs? Child B who was also borned at the same time ... Well, I don't have clue.
9. From the dates it seems that my daughter was conceived at Disney World; maybe it really is the Magic Kingdom.
10. So much about that night is a blur. The only thing that I remember for sure is Delia Smith did a program about eggs earlier in the evening. If I had stayed in and watched more TV rather than going to the party at 146 Miller Drive, mine might have remained unfertilized.
11. I am unsure as to the identity of the father of my baby, after all, like when you eat a can of beans you can't be sure which one made you fart.

2006-10-06T11:57:00.000+08:00

Nation
Friday October 6, 2006

UKM now ranked way ahead of UM

BY SIMRIT KAUR and HARIATI AZIZAN

PETALING JAYA: Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) has supplanted Universiti Malaya (UM) as the country’s highest ranked university in the latest survey conducted on world university rankings.

In World University Rankings 2006 published by the Times Higher Education Supplement and conducted by QS Quacquarelli Symonds, UKM rose by 105 places to break into the top 200-ranked universities for the first time, climbing from 289 last year to 185.

UM, however, continued its downward spiral, by dropping a further 23 places to 192. Its ranking fell from 89 in 2004 to 169 last year, causing a national debate on the status of the premier university and the validity of the criteria used for the rankings.

The British newspaper's annual rankings are based on measures like peer review (40%), employer survey (10%), international faculty (5%), international students (5%), staff to student ratio (20%), and the number of times research is cited by other academics (20%). Details of this year's criteria are not yet available.

Former UKM vice-chancellor Datuk Dr Mohd Salleh Mohd Yasin, who retired in August this year, attributed UKM’s current standing to the joint effort by everyone in the university.

“We focused on raising the university’s profile internationally. We also made a concerted effort to improve UKM’s website and consolidate the information there,” said Dr Mohd Salleh, who is currently chairman of the National Accreditation Board.

Universiti Sains Malaysia and Universiti Putra Malaysia also improved in this year’s standings – UPM rose by 102 places from 394 to 292, while USM climbed from 326 to 277.

When contacted, current UKM vice-chancellor Datuk Dr Sharifah Hapsah Syed Hasan Shahabudin and UM vice-chancellor Datuk Rafiah Salim declined comment, saying that they would speak at a press conference at UM today.

Opposition Leader Lim Kit Siang described this year’s results as a double shame for UM.

“Not only did it slide further but UM also fell behind UKM. This is unacceptable for Malaysia's premier university. There is need for a shake-up,” he said.

He added that although UKM should be commended for its place in this year’s rankings, Malaysia’s top public universities should rank among the top 50.

It has been reported that the Ministry has set a target for two public universities to break into the top 50 by 2010.

Lim attributed Malaysian universities' poor ranking to the failure of the institutions “to practise real meritocracy in academic appointments and promotions, as well as in student intake.”

Higher Education Minister Datuk Mustapa Mohamed could not be reached for comment.

At the top of the rankings is Harvard University, which retained its position. However, Massachusetts Institute of Technology lost its number two position to Cambridge University.

British and American universities took all the places in the top 10. The highest placed Asian university is China’s Beijing University, at 14. The University of Tokyo and the National University of Singapore were joint 19th, the only other Asian universities in the top 20.

haha.. yes.. thanx to me UKM is da 1st!! hehehe...

2006-10-05T16:38:00.000+08:00

I really have the vaguest idea on how parents are able to love all their children the same amount. On any fine day, if you ask any parents they would insist they love and care for all their children the same but try asking any kids with siblings. Only a tiny miniscule fraction (approximately 0.001%) would say their parents are fair and equal in loving and caring and admit they do not face any sibling rivalry at home! Or in my case, it would be appreciation and also attention.
Born the third out of four girls, I am in the midst of overheated jealousy. Or it would be better to say I was. Come on la. I have two elder sisters who are super-achievers. They are good at everything and I do mean everything! They excel in school, amazing in arts (despite not having any lessons in art), have wonderfully sweet voice when they sing and possibly everything else. And yeah, they are good with people too. Their drawings are framed up around the house and mind you, these aren’t drawings of stick figurines with few strands of hair. These are a la Picasso and Leonardo da Vinci. And for me, I’m nothing like them; I don’t even look like them. I can’t draw, or probably just not as good. There is no use telling me not to compare myself with them, because every other situation compels me to do so!
When anyone visits us, my parents would proudly bring them for a tour around the house and show and marvel everyone with the art-work of my sisters. And almost always I would be asked "So, what are you good at?" and I though thoroughly mortified would have to answer "None, I’m kinda hopeless actually". Why can’t people accept the fact that not everyone has to be same?
For a fact, I am not hopeless. There are certain things where I can flaunt my talents. I am good in expressing my emotions through words and poem. Well if you want to know, I actually have had a poem published in a coffee table book by the International Poem Club when I was 15 ( yeah .. cheers for me!!) and also have few articles published by the local papers. And I also have a talent for speaking in public and also for advising people especially about love-life problems (Clue= I am doing psychology) but my parents do not even acknowledge my talents or achievements. I mean I am not asking much but just a few words of encouragement and probably if they actually frame up my articles by the paintings of my sisters, would definitely boost up my self-esteem by ten-folds.
But come to think of it, though my elder sisters get all the name and fame, it is me and my younger sister who get more freedom. When my elder sisters were adolescents my parents were all but liberal. We lived under a military, iron-nailed regime and trust me when I say this is an understatement. There was no going out with friends even if they are girls, no movies, no listening to English or Tamil cinema songs, no posters on the wall, no sleep-over, no even talking about boys and basically no nothing! And through out the years, my parents have mellowed. They are not that mushy but we (me and my younger sister) do get a tad more freedom compared to my elder sisters. We are allowed to go out with friends, watch movie, have fun and hang out. Yeah we have fun and drive our elder siblings into a green frenzy of rage. My mom actually listens to the latest English songs and while dad has not really changed much, he has slackened off just a tiny bit. My moment of revelation came when my mom said this, "Do you know that Shakira’s mother was a belly dancer from Lebanon?" wow. To think that my mom actually knows the happenings in the music industry and even their history!
Now that we are all grown up, I and my sisters are as close as thieves in a pack. We seldom get a chance to meet since we have already left the nest and currently are busy pursuing our tertiary studies or climbing the corporate ladder. The little time we get to meet back in home during weekends, are moments to be treasured. We update each other and could spend hours just talking and laughing that sometimes would drive my dad up the wall! But nevertheless, thanks to the modern technology we do keep in touch through sms, mms, video conferencing with webcams and voice messages. And like most other families, we grew out of the rivalry. I can say my sisters are one of my best companions. I could just be myself and not be afraid to express myself with them and the amount of nonsense we do together is unspeakable and would make everyone shake their heads in disbelief.

dis was writen for the sole pupose to get cash from da paper.. hehe,,, half of above is not true.. or basically it refers to the past. im a changed person now.. i dun care about dis kinda petty things no more.. im good n i have cum to accept my goodness and my evilness... im proud of my talents no matter how silly or unimportant they r.. for all talents as my old fren told me, comes from god n its there for a reason.. n we must utilise it to our outmost cababilty... cheers to myself

2006-09-15T01:00:00.000+08:00

pangkor... it was great.. it was fun.. a well deserved holiday n admist all da assignments and mid-sem test n not to mention da ever swindling bank account ,, we wen n came back in one piece...
1st day weather wasnt too nice. rainy.but we reached there also late.. checked in.. chalet not dat nice, bit dodgy but we were oni gonna be there to zzz.. so who cares.. then wen down to makan.. food nice.. seafood of coz!! was good.. then wen down.. ocean~very rough n scary lookin. i mean da waves were so high n it was so near da road..like just 2 metres awayl... so erm ok la.. just played wid da swings.. walked.. niway liquid got drenched la..haha.. cute lil roomie

then makan at nyt.. next day wake up early ( 8,45 haha., its early k) then wen down makan nasi lemak n jump straigh in water.. waves n sea line wen down alredi.. water calm.. beautifull n ahah salty!we wen snokerlin at Pulau Giam straight wid "hantu".. he dumped us there n didnt teach us also how to snokerl.. so we learnt by ourselves.. n ended up being bashed by the waves on the corals n cut ourselves everywhere!! sha baby was so upset.. we still managed to collect shells n pose

haha. then came back n swim n laze till late aftanoon.. mandi n wen makan.. hantu n his frens herri n da scary indon told us they wanna tak us to go fishing.. by shooting da fish wid a snipper? (aint sure how u spell it, but a gun la nonetheless).b4 dat we wen jet-ski-ing!! whoo yoo.. it was cool.. u can like accelerate maximum man!!then so niway wen lunch n came back to the beach but it seems dis guys were to bring us indivudually on the jet ski so we dint wanna go la.. then cont mandi-manda... built sum funy obscene lookin sand castles. haha.. n they buried me partially in the sand.. im became a mermaid! yippie.. then cont bathing again... liquid got sun-burned.. while me n sha .haih no sun tann also.. teruk man.. met sum rich uncle from putrajaya who works in da PM Department..**hint hint.. haha.. terrorist contact me asap!!.

wen to town n we rented a car.. we drove (ah qing actually,, grins) to the old dutch fort.. noting much la.. saw an obscene pervy lookin pareo.. haha.. turtles mating.. wat la dis ppl.. fort oni had 3 walls.. imagine.. terrible ryt..then we drove back.. stoped by the coastal road n watched the semi-sunset.. thehe.. then entered back da waters in the eveinin to watch sunset,, was beautiful.. n am gettin my facts mixed up here.. hehe.. we were tired la.. then wen back bathe n had a marvelous dinner- chicken, squid prawns.. wahh.. massive man.. so niway.. nyt didnt doo much .. was just too tired

the next day, wen back to the jetty,, gave back car n reached lumut around 10 30.. ate breakfast n frgot to pay..i took lousy old roadways back to ipoh while da gurls took consortium.. liquid fought wid an indon in the bus.. haha,,funny gurl la.. n sha.. ehhe.. was admiring her. ehehe.. crazy frens of mine. then niway.. we reached safely....

next trip.....!~~! perhentian..!!

viva pangkor!!

2006-09-01T10:56:00.000+08:00

life is indeed so so crazy!! it s weird how this little horoscope thing just explains everything im goin tru

"The Bottom Line
Your agendas do not matter right now. Sometimes, yielding power can be empowering.
In Detail
It will be extremely easy to feel in sync with everyone today -- you're in a solid phase of life, and each day you get more comfortable with who you are. To build on this momentum, simply keep floating. Don't try to push things a certain way ... your agendas don't matter right now. It's much better for you to let other people dictate the plans while you accept the path that's given to you. Sometimes yielding power itself can be empowering."

dis pass one month has been so taxing on me.. i just at times loose touch with reality... its like wen u do all u can , ppl keep thinkin dat aint enuf,,, n wen u didnt do anything,, ppl assume n blame u for it.. haihs.. confusing.. drifting..

i wanna fly off.. n hey i myt do dat. met an old fren who is a pilot now,, n he said he wud bring us flying.. wow. cool eh.. must convince him to bring me go sky-diving..

i am a adrenaline-junky.. but da oni adre-rushin i did was a bit of rock climbing. haha..around3/5 to the top i bucked.. n got a bit frightened of fallin off.. so i came down.. wata waste.. but i shall keep trying

perhentian has been postponed.. but we'r goin to pangkor instead for now.. must go sumwhere.. i need a break man.. i m so sick of travellin to n fro..

but as the message from Swami said, " i just wan u to struggle a bit, its never easy.. but i wan to see u tryin to stand up and walk.. just for a lil while, n when i know u really wan it, i would just carry u tru the rest of ur journey"

well,, lord, u do see me struglling.. hurry up.. im waiting here...

give me the strength to stand again
give me the courage to go on another step
show me light to illuminate my path
show me ur love to keep me moving
push me wen i seem stagnant
pull me tru wen i down n low
allow me to cum to be with you
allow me to bask in your grace
bless me to indulge in ur presence
bless me Lord, so i may merge with u..

2006-09-01T10:52:00.000+08:00

Donald to Carolyn: You're Fired! Thursday August 31 3:40 PM ET
By Gina Serpe
Carolyn Kepcher's business how-to book covered how to handle a difficult boss. Now it's time for a rewrite.
Donald Trump has turned on one of his own, giving the axe to his longtime boardroom sidekick and Apprentice costar amid a newspaper report that TV fame had gone to her head.
"Mr. Trump wishes Carolyn the best," the real estate mogul's rep, Jim Dowd, told E! News, confirming the firing. Kepcher had run two of Trump's golf courses and was a longtime fixture at the Trump Organization; more prominently, she had served as Trump's right-hand woman since NBC launched The Apprentice in 2004.
According to the New York Post, Kepcher was given the boot after Trump became frustrated by her outside projects.
"She became a prima donna," a presumably close, unnamed "insider" told the newspaper. "She was giving speeches for $25,000 and doing endorsements."
The 36-year-old mother of two, who oversaw the Trump National Golf Club in Briarcliff, New York, as well as a course in New Jersey, parlayed her Apprentice fame into a book deal. Carolyn 101: Business Lessons from The Apprentice's Straight Shooter became a bestseller, which led to the boardroom maven landing an agent at ICM and fielding offers for TV and book deals, along with speaking engagements and endorsements.
Kepcher's termination will have no affect on production of The Apprentice. She was not involved in the upcoming sixth season, which was set in Los Angeles and has finished shooting.
Proving nepotism is alive and kicking, Trump earlier tapped daughter Ivanka to take over as the reality show's requisite female sidekick, with Donald Trump Jr. chosen to fill-in for the other longtime Apprentice lackey, George Ross.
The 78-year-old Ross, a corporate counsel for the Trump Organization, will sit out for several episodes this season to make way for the younger Donald. Unlike Kepcher, however, a Trump Organization executive told CNN that Ross is "very much a part of the company" and is not being pushed out.
Instead, the new season's location shift has been cited as the reason for Ross' diminished appearances. Because Ross is based on the East Coast, he and show producers decided it would not be optimal for him to relocate simply for the show.
The Apprentice's sixth season is set to air in January.

2006-08-28T10:39:00.000+08:00

i had da freaking funny-ly weird sunday yest.... n i am now declaring.. ( with da help of roomie) i have da gift of prophesizing.. hehe.. lemme prove to u...

i was with my sis (numero uno a.k.a Mr crab) in the lrt station at pudu n she was complainin about a pimple she was having ryt in the middle of her forehead.. n so i was just telling her about a fren of mine, who has a mole ryt on the middle of her nose, n her chin n on her forehead but just a bit offside.. n i turned n GUESS WAT???? I SAW DA GURL I WAS TELLING MY SIS ABOUT!!!! FREAKY MAN!!!

n da thing is,, i havent seen dis fren of mine ever since f6.. n dats almost 2 years back... n ryt wen im tokin bout her she appears.. i was like "" wat da hell?? speak of the devil!!" n i wen to tok to her.. n she ws equally suprised... n we were continuing our journey together.. just toking bout the past n our current day life n she told me , i shud meet one of her frens, n was telling me about him n wen we saw the guy walking in front of us!! FREAKY!!

haha.. so.. dats about it.. we both were like. oh shit!! wata weird day... but nvm.. it was nice tokin to her.. n indeed weird..

p.s: anyone who needs any prophesizing or forecast for the future.. plz cum to me,,
1 session= RM 150 ... hey its cheap !!
(",)

2006-08-25T22:44:00.000+08:00

dejavu... i been getting this a lot.. just today morning as i was slowly siping hot cup of Nescafe , i got a devaju which involved me having a dejavu!!.. it sumtimes gets so frustating.. haha.. n i did en up explaining wats dejavu all to my cute lil roomie.. devaju.. derived from a french word.. n it literally means having a feeling that u have done that exact situation b4 , n u knoe for sure u havent.. n psychologically as i learnt last sem in cognition.. devaju is explained like dis..

"ur senses take in the info-as in watever u see , hear, taste , smell n feel- and send it to the brain to be processed ryt.. n dis activity is supposed to take less than a fraction of a mili-second.. but wen u have a dejavu, wat happens it dat, the lapse to send the info took longer.. thus wen ur brain processes the info u feel like u already have done it b4.. but oni u actually sensed it a couple fractions of second earlier..."

get wat i mean.. haha.. if u dont understan, its ok.. its psychology afta all.. yer not suposed to undtsnd all dis!! niway my 1st dejavu ( da most vivid one too) was wen i was 8
i did sumthing wrong n my mom came to hit me, n then i was blur. imagine i was kinda squating ( i dunno y) but i had dis blur look n was like,, hell dis happened b4.. n wham!! got whacked!! haha.. wata memory.. i was an evil kid though,,:P

2006-08-21T10:29:00.000+08:00

wow.. afta so long i finally managed to open up back my acc. i was facing a lil difficulty in logging in due to the new changes in google. niways.. well dis past few days have been fun and tiring. i wen to genting!! yesh.. n its damn expensive!! argh.. imagine. normal price of a drink here is like rm 1 sumthing n there it is rm 5.. n a KFC set of 2 chickens is Rm 6.90 n there it was RM 15.. wonder y da owner is filthy rich? my budget wen over just because of the food.. but nevertheless i had fun.. it was all cold and misty. i wen to the outdoor theme park n lets c, i played in 2 thrill rides (flying dragon & cork screw) and another 2 normal ones(go-cart & da 1st roller coaster).i wanted to do the solero shot but there were just too many ppl.. n since i wen in late, by the time it was 5 the mist rolled in.. n u cant even c anything. n my companion didnt even join me in the thrill ride!! ( bad smelly!!) haha. N I WEN ROCK CLIMBING!!! YEAH!! it was cool.. i managed to climb half way tru n suddenly all the rocks seemed to be far off from each other and the it started to get abit slanting, so i kinda got nervous i wud fall if i try to reach for the other rocks.. and so because of dat i came down.. nevertheless it was cool n i was all sore. later that nyt, got all dressed up n tot i cud enter the casino.. heck i didnt even wanna play.. just wanna c it since was being all influenced by LAS VEGAS!! thanx roomie hehe.. but i couldnot go in.. i had to wait 2 more months!! so just walked around genting. kinda cold. wen back watched tv n slept off. next day morning, just wen around the indoor theme park and later wen back home.. n kl was so so heaty!! hahah..
came back ukm, just chilled for the day and wen out to kajang yest with roomie dearest.. ate mc d for lunch n pizza for dinner.. n slept off. hehe.. n we wen shopin at parkson, kajang. i fell in love witht dis b-e-a-utiful knitted shrug. it was brown and haihss.. i wan it!!! alas but then, am broke,, so ended up buying a cute lil black one. n roomie got a purpler lil barney number!! (im so gonna get whacked for dis)..

dis r da pics of genting!!

2006-08-12T15:40:00.000+08:00

im home!! well nothing much to shout about..!! super broke,, damn.. wen to da pc fair in klcc, n ended up buying so many things,,which i dun think i really need,, n i was supposed to go shopping for clothes..( dis is all ur fault dnesh!!)so niway,, wow ipoh is so so heaty!! extremely hot.. took da bus sat mornimg.. n gonna be here till monday i guess then shoot off straight to class..feel like sleepin but its just too hot.. well, must figure out how earn more money.. got genting trip, got perhentian trip n finally da india trip.. n im cashles.. anyone reading dis, who needs sum1 to work,,,plz contact me.. hahaha